#he still has literally 100 times the experience of dealing with demons in hell than Alastor has even been IN hell

[keets-writing-corner]

okay my tags were getting too long, so basically

I think Lucifer is definitely going to have a hard time adjusting to being at the hotel. (Granted this is entirely from my introvert-with-depression standpoint and Lucifer may not be an introvert BUT) I'm not even talking about his abysmal social skills that are nerfed further by dissociation. I'm talking about how, he's lived what... at least 7 years now, most likely LONGER in his little hidey duck hole. Doesn't care about anyone that much really except his daughter, who up until now, he didn't know how to interact with, and possibly frederick who we know nothing about. So no real reason to be leaving. So when he does leave, it's infrequent. Sure that's fine. He can handle that, just put on a clown mask and he's good to go. But once the event is done or he's just tired of masking, he can just crawl back to the hidey hole

At the hotel tho... He might get his own private wing and all that but he's going to have a lot more people be around him a lot more often, which means grabbing that mask way more often (this is assuming, he's like me, and feels an intense need to perform around other people and doesn't know how to turn off masking) which quite frankly, is exhausting. If he wants to be present and helpful, he's going to need to pull out that mask way more often.

(Uhhh I feel like I should clarify, when I say mask, I don't mean he's not being genuine, I mean he's hiding that he's feeling miserable by pretending to be [insert positive emotion here] instead. Like his personality is there, but it's that disconnect when someone is being cheery when very clearly they are upset. It's still them. They're not hiding who they are, but they are hiding how they're feeling because of not wanting that to be perceived or not wanting to be a load, or they just don't feel safe sharing that they're in pain/vulnerable)

BUT THAT BEING SAID Lucifer will have one thing going for him that Alastor doesn't.

It doesn't matter how charming, how affable or how wellspoken a person is, if it's not coming from a genuine place then that interaction/trust/relationship isn't going to last. Alastor may be a good showman, charming, fun, mostly pleasant, but he doesn't care.

Sure, Lucifer isn't going to go around showing he has depression but his love and care for his daughter are real. He may have had his hopes shattered and his faith "betrayed" by people in the past but at his core, he always has been and always will be a lover. Case in point, in Dad Beat Dad, he was so damn polite and patient with nearly everyone (except Al). He even let Niffty scale him like a tree. He didn't like it, but he let her

If that's not patience idk what is. His social skills might be total garbage, and he might flub everything he says, especially if he's only getting 50% of conversations, but he's TRYING and he's going to CARE, and that will ultimately shine through

Alastor doesn't care. He's there for reasons none of us actually know, but it's clear it's not for Charlie nor her cause. He's convenient and he's charismatic. But when push came to shove, he showed that he was opportunistic and wrangled a favor out of charlie when she was desperate. In stark contrast, her dad very explicitly told her, "yeah i'm never gonna charge you for needing my help. Just ask." Alastor isn't genuine with the people around him, and eventually that is going to show

Honestly, what i'm most worried about is the figurative arms race this is going to put Alastor, Lucifer and the rest of the cast in.

Lucifer is going to have a rough start with the other hotel residents. He might be the king of hell, they might show respect to his authority, but genuinely connecting with him? Trusting him to be on their side? That's going to be difficult for everyone involved and is going to take a while. Eventually, his wellmeaning nature should eventually come through and they can make good and meaningful bonds but

Alastor already has a solid reputation as someone who is reliable. He's charismatic and fun to talk to, and for the most part, does his job.

The arms race is how many people can Alastor wrangle onto on his side before the jig is up and true colors show? Cuz when true colors show, no one will be siding with him. Alastor only has until the jig is up to get people to not trust or not like Lucifer, cuz after that, he will have no sway over them.

It's a waiting game. Lucifer has to hold out until the true colors show, and Alastor has to keep things going as long as possible

I can only hope that when the jig IS up, that it won't be on Alastor's terms...

Taking this as a sign Lucifer will be living at the hotel from now on (bless)

The problem Alastor had with him in Dad Beat Dad, Lucifer being more powerful and able to provide for the hotel in his place, might come back potentially in even worse condition?

Because what Alastor had over him was actively supporting Charlie's dreams and doing whatever he could for her to achieve them despite his ulterior motives, and being a strange source of emotional comfort for her with mentoring her through her issues at the same time- being the only one who could fill the position as her provider at the very least

But now Lucifer is moving in, AND has finally stepped up as the dad that's going to support her both in the materialistic sense and now as a major source of emotional support she's always wanted from him and only him specifically

One thing I think makes a difference between them is most definitely Alastor's charisma and ability to manipulate people into doing what he wants for the hotel's benefit, and just teaching her more about hell and making connections- is infinitely stronger than Lucifer's, who is usually honest about his feelings and has been socially stunted for awhile, isolating himself since his depression started developing after losing his family for years

Idk if they're going to explore this in the newest season,,,which I am assuming will receive the same short time span of 8 episodes 💀

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 197

First Born

“First Born”

Plot Description: hoping to kill mutual enemy Abaddon, Dean and Crowley search for the “First Blade” and are stunned to find out its owner is Cain, the first son.

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: yeah, I’m good. I mean, if I HAD the First Blade and Cain came aknockin for it, I’d probably just give it to him. I don’t wanna die

(I remember two things from this part of spn: 1) Dean gets a fun new mark and 2) Cain is played by Timothy Omundson, who to ME is King Richard from Galavant)

I guess if you HAVE to portray confederate soldiers (and honestly, you almost never have to, unless you are doing something and it’s ABOUT the civil war), it MIGHT be best to make them demons. Though then you’re taking away their agency which is a DIFFERENT kind of ick. But at least they’re demons to be killed off and not the romantic partner of a beloved side character

I can’t believe Crowley had a spy demon called Smitty…

The Dean and Crowley buddy comedy is perfection. I love Dean begrudgingly taking out John’s journal and Crowley asking ALL of the questions about it. Giving me season four or five vibes

Oh…Cas is losing his taste for food now that he’s an angel again. I’m sad for him

“Cas, you’re a terrible liar” “That’s not true. I once deceived and betrayed both you and your brother” Cassssssss, that’s not something to boast about

So did Gadreel leave a little piece of him in Sam??? Oh…Sam’s got a little Grace in him.

Sam, you HAVE to remember that Cas does not have the strongest grasp on idioms. You can’t say you have a guinea pig and not expect him to believe you have a LITERAL guinea pig and not just a you to experiment on

I like this semi-retired hunter(?). She’s got all the precautions up and tests that Dean isn’t possessed, but she’s not IN the game in the game anymore.

Crowley, you and Dean are not besties but I’m so happy you’re trying

I’m not saying that John wasn’t a man with “needs,” but…when you’re dragging your kids (who you are also neglecting more than half the time) all across the country, I don’t know that you get to do weekend trysts with a woman you killed a demon with.

Did you have to SHOOT the devil’s trap to break it?? Couldn’t you have just scuffed it like EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SHOW??

Don’t tell me Cain still lives at the house from the first five minutes

Crowley is absolutely TERRIFIED of Cain. And I can see why. He formed AND killed the Knights of Hell?!

Sam, you have not spent enough time around Cas. You need to. Because you also need to stop making all these little quips that are just going to keep you two going around in exceptionally pointless circles

Not Sam trying to sacrifice himself again (but what else is new, really?)

Yeah, maybe you SHOULDN’T have gone back

Man, of course they killed the hunter…

I love that the Father of Murder is now an introvert who just wants to tend to his bees and be left alone

Cain just watching Dean fight these demons like I watch a show I’ve seen a million times

Crowley, no one was around to hear your quip

I do like the relationship between Cas and Sam…it’s soft and supportive now

What a potentially interesting twist on the Cain and Abel story…here, Abel wasn’t talking to god, he was talking to Lucifer and Cain made a deal to ensure Abel went to heaven and he went to hell (not sure I 100% believe it but…)

Oh that’s actually really tragic. Cain fell in love with a woman who loved him unconditionally. She simply asked him to stop killing and he did. Then Abaddon possessed her one night, nearly killed her in front of Cain, but ended up tricking him into killing his own wife.

The Winchester boys, always taking really drastic and dangerous solutions

A Sam and Cas hug where Sam has to tell Castiel that this is the part where you hug back

OMG! Crowley gets a “end of the car trip” talk over the hood of the impala!! And you said he was the furthest thing from family, Dean…….

You’re right Crowley, it IS always something with those boys

[wallflowerimagines]

*TW PERIOD MENTION*

If you're comfortable with this, could you do some hcs for the lords (but mainly moreau) with an s/o who gets HORRIBLE period cramps? Like they're literally writhing in pain and even after they take pain meds it's still miserable. Only do this if you feel comfortable of course, I totally understand if you dont want to do it❤

Hi, sorry folks, I bumped this to the top of the list, cuz I don't know if it's time sensitive for you, hope it brings comfort❤️ (Moreau's will have some extra)

TW: Period Mention, Reader is still Gender Neutral

Alcina Dimitrescu

Ah, she remembers those. She hasn't had to deal with one in a long while, due to her mutation, but even for her the experience was not pleasant.

This, however, looks very different.

Alcina cannot imagine the pain you must be in. You are curled into yourself on the couch, humming in an attempt to distract yourself from the pain, and you might try to hide them but she can see the tear tracks on your face.

Alcina takes care of you. Any of her day to day tasks can and will wait-- you are far more important. She doesn't leave the room unless you ask her to, and the Maids aren't let into the room unless it is to bring HER the things she needs to take care of you.

She will do whatever you need from her, no question. Cuddles, heated blankets, she will even read aloud to you as a distraction. Pro tip--her hands can get pretty chilly, and if you're someone who does well with ice packs, her hands work 100% better to cool off your skin.

Don't worry about her loosing control at the smell of blood--you are obviously in pain and she has far too much self control to let a little bit of blood bother her. (But depending on how hungry her daughters are, they might not be let in the room unless they have fed recently)

She will also use her contact with the Duke to find you a proper doctor. It's not normal for you to be in this much pain. Dearest, it doesn't matter if someone else has said there's nothing more to be done-- she's getting you a competent Doctor to get a second opinion.

Donna Beneviento

Donna is panicking.

Lady Beneviento is stressed the hell out by seeing you in pain--she hates it. You're lying in a pile of blankets on the floor, unable to be even the slightest bit comfortable because of the pain, and in such obvious agony that your hands are shaking.

Still, she's more than ready to make you feel better. Other than pain pills and more traditional treatment, Donna firmly believes in the power of distraction.

She will use books, movies, heck with your permission she might even use the pollen to craft a hallucination for you to help take the pain away.

(Ethan's encounter with the demon fetus was able to cause him enough harm that he felt it, Donna would definitely try to see if she could use her powers to trick your brain into not feeling as much pain)

She will also be attached to you at the hip, if you need space or can't be touched during your period, you need to tell her up front. She'll be very clingy when you are this miserable.

A little self indulgence here: while Donna does like her tea, she makes a KILLER hot chocolate. If chocolate brings you joy during your period, she has a constant, steady supply of it sent up to your room.

Salvatore Moreau

Salvatore engages Doctor mode immediately. For you to be in this much pain is both not normal and completely unacceptable. He's going to do his best to help.

This man absolutely used to be the Village doctor before his mutation, and as a result does Know His Shit. His siblings and mother may infantilize him to a certain degree, but that is mainly because Moreau's main issues are short term memory problems and his obsessive devotion to Mother Miranda that can make him regress. He's still competent as a doctor, and if he needs to reference anything, he still has some copies of medical textbooks.

He was also a Small Town Doctor, meaning he knows how to treat pain without access to traditional medicine, since often times he didn't have access to it.

It doesn't matter if you're not a tea person, you're still getting tea, made with herbs you don't know the name of and couldn't pronounce even if you did.

He doubles this up with more traditional pain relief methods like extra strength ibuprofen and heated compresses on the area. He might even talk you into doing a few exercises--it can help a lot with pain relief.

Still, when he's caring for you, sometimes he has to leave the room. He uses getting you a glass of water or another blanket as an excuse, but it's really so he can take a deep breath and center himself. Moreau is an empathetic man who loves you to pieces, and watching you cry silently into a pillow just...hurts.

Salvatore also does his best to distract you with anything he has on hand, mostly movies. While you two might normally playfully argue about which ones to watch, he will absolutely defer to you. I would recommend taking this time to watch a scary movie if you're a horror fan, there's literally no other time where Moreau would let you get away with it.

He is at your side constantly, and will only give you space if you ask for it. Even then, he will pop back in every few hours to check in.

Now for Fluff stuff: If you're not careful and watch him like he watches you, Moreau will run himself ragged trying to keep you comfortable.

The best solution to preventing this is coaxing him into bed with you. He might let out a couple of token protests, but one look at your pleading face takes all the fight right out of him.

He will cuddle up to you as close as possible and rub little circles into your back or stomach, whatever feels best. If you two are face to face, you can start to feel yourself relax in time with his breathing, and both of you slowly drift off to sleep together.

It's the best you've felt in days ❤️

Karl Heisenberg

Magnet Man is just... So lost...

You are writhing in agony in your bed, sobbing into a pillow, and so obviously suffering. He HATES to see you like this, because you're hurting and he doesn't know how to fix it.

Karl wants to hurt the things that hurt you, but when it's your own body rebelling against you and causing you pain...He wants to make it better for you but he can't.

He swallowed his pride IMMEDIATELY and called Moreau to the factory. Heisenberg might consider The Lord of the Reservoir to be a little slow in the head, but he used to be a doctor, and Karl is taking zero chances with your health.

He also pops by the Duke to pick up any kind of pain relief possible--Karl literally brings back 8 different brands of acetaminophen, hot water bottles, cocaine, opium, and enough alcohol to give an elephant a blackout. (Maybe he can get you to pass out long enough that you'll sleep through the worst of it?)

You will have to ask directly for cuddles if you want them--as handsy and clingy as Heisenberg is, he is so Bad At Feelings that he will just hover in the corner and work on projects to keep his hands busy. He doesn't know if you want to be touched, and is afraid to ask...but he really wants to keep an eye on you anyway.

[aerltarg]

Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:

I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:

1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.

2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.

I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?

oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.

as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.

such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.

and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?

yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO

so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".

tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".

but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:

“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”

The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

[pallasperilous]

So It Goes

So, forgive me this indulgence as somebody who does not ordinarily write meta; a friend asked me why I thought that the manner of Dean’s death in 15x20 is an incredibly lovely and mature writing choice. I think it is so, for reasons that also happen to explain why so many fans of the show fucking loathe it.

There is some Vonnegut at the end. Hang in for that. 

PART ONE: 

Chuck's story direction has always made sure that the boys, if they died, did so in a mega intense or glorious fashion (minus the *Mystery Spot* meddling by Gabriel, and those weren't meant to be permadeaths). Those deaths were awesome heroic television deaths that FED the story rather than ending it. Every time, the surviving brother would do some extremely stupid and destabilizing shit to bring the other back, often feeding an entire new cycle of death and retrieval. 

If he *didn't* (cf: Sam in the Cage, Dean in Purgatory), it caused a massive rift between them, which then fed *further* wild-ass decisions. The dudes were in the dictionary under 'codependency'. People knew that killing or capturing one of them meant the other wasn't far behind. 

Chuck's endgame for Sam and Dean was literally to *die fighting God.* How much more heroically wanky can you get?

But they beat him. They’re free. Jack takes over, and makes it clear that he isn’t going to be a God who meddles or directs; he’s not going to be their in-house writer. He’s just going to set things back where they belong, reform the systems that Chuck established out of ego or cruelty, and then integrate himself with the universe so that anything that happens to it…happens to him, too. He’s won’t be a character anymore. He’s a setting.

PART TWO: 

So, minus Chuck, with Jack’s goodbye and Castiel’s sacrifice…the boys get to experience plain old…real life. Tuesday! Drinking beer, kicking the laundry machine, filling out shitty job applications, enjoying the little consolations of food and pets and free time. (I think that messy room and dog-bonding and staring into the internet bespeaks a Dean who is really doing his goddamn best to not implode with grief as he has in the past, but to try to thrive in the face of deep grieving). 

When Sam expresses grief over losing Cas, Dean's response is basically: yeah, it sucks. But our job, that our loved ones sacrificed for us to have a shot at… is to stop trying to reverse all of our losses, and to learn to live with them, like normal people have to. That’s the price of the gift they’ve been given — accepting whatever real life deals them.

They can literally do anything they want; circumstances won’t herd them into Season 16. What’s the first thing Dean really does, after this little break? 

He hears “missing kids, dead parents” and he dives right back in. He opens his Dad’s goddamn notebook for the info. He’s immediately choosing to go right back to where they started, for the sake of helping other people. He books them to fight some of the very first basic bitch monsters he and Sam dealt with. That is unforced 100% Dean’s choice. 

(Sam has demonstrated an ability to not take on the responsibility of eliminating all monster-based misfortunes in the world and pursue a life beyond just hunting, so long as Dean has been off the map…but Dean’s one attempt to take a job and settle down with Lisa ended up being so obviously hollow that Castiel felt SO BAD he took time off from RUNNING HEAVEN to rescue Sam FOR DEAN.)

PART THREE: 

Remember Chuck's little fit earlier where Dean wound up getting his teeth drilled etc? That bad luck was being magnified by Chuck being pissed at them, but the brothers truly did find themselves facing ordinary people shit they had never really had to deal with. It drove the point home -- Sam and Dean had been exempt, this whole time, from the petty little ways that failure and misfortune work in the normal world. That extended to their hunting, too — they found out that there were people they could fail to save, despite their best effort. People who, according to the rules they’d been operating under, should have been savable. 

So we see this hunt — which is really rough and tumble. They’re still doing amazingly considering how outnumbered they are, but this was some of the most intentionally graceless fight choreography I remember seeing on the show. They seriously almost lose the fight, and Sam kills that last vamp pestering Dean with the kind of “whew!” last minute heroics we’ve come to expect from the show.

And Dean realizes: something has gone wrong. Something that no pulp TV action genre writer would ever, ever draft for a hero’s death. There was some scary rebar sticking out and Dean got shoved into it in the scuffle and it hath Fucked Him Up. It’s the kind of shit that happens on construction sites. It’s an accident. It’s a random misfortune. It has nothing to do with his heroism or skill or the cleverness or powerfulness of his opponents. It just happens.

Under show rules, here is what would happen next: Castiel would heal him. Jack would heal him. Sam would call an ambulance and Dean would be DOA and Sam would whip out his cellphone and call Rowena or a crossroads demon or Sister Jo or research a spell and we’d be off and rolling for Season 16.

But Dean says: Don’t do that.

Because that is what Chuck would write.

Dean realizes — this is exactly the world they have fought to exist in. A world that is randomly wonderful, randomly shitty. This happened because he chose to be here. Nobody made them pursue this hunt. Is he surprised that it happened so soon, that he ended up having so little time to give unscripted life a shot? Yes, to the point that he clearly thinks it’s honestly kinda funny. Cuz who’d write it like that? Nobody! He likes the part that he gets to die on a hunt, standing up, in his boots — that’s what he’s always seen for himself. Not in a bad way, not in a “killing machine” or a “daddy’s little soldier” way, but because it means he kept fighting for other people up to the last second. He’s upset that Sam is so upset — he’s more worried about calming Sam and reassuring him than he is about how cool his death is gonna look on IMDB, or how they can cheat circumstance to buy him more time. 

Instead of buying more time, at the expense of living like real people instead of TV characters…he decides to make the most of this one moment. He tells Sam how much he loves him. He tells Sam that Sam will be okay; he’s going to go live a whole life on whatever terms he and the universe can work out together, and the fact that Dean isn’t there is gonna be a painful but acceptable part of those terms. Dean says: don’t go running off trying to change this. Just spend this last little bit of time with me, while the universe does its thing. That’s what they do.

TL;DR — this death is fucking awesome because Chuck would absolutely fucking hate it. He wanted Sam and Dean to go down in a ball of fire together, fighting their coolest foe ever, CHUCK! 

Instead: Dean dies like a normal person, from an accident bred under circumstances that he chose for himself. Chuck loses half his prize, not to some other big bad, but to a damn piece of construction material on a mundane job.  And Dean gets to die in a way that unshackles Sam’s fate from his own. Like Castiel did for him, he gets to say: I love you. This is enough for me. Go live your life.

He finally gets to drop his kid back off at Stanford.

Chuck would be so pissed.

And we, the viewers of Supernatural...well, hell, we’re ultimately fans of Chuck’s writing, aren’t we? So of course something so unprecedented, so un-heroic or badass, so mundane and intimate and random...of course it shocks. Because that’s not the show we’ve been watching!! But isn’t that the point? The author is dead. We can put aside his tastes, and we can look at Dean’s death, and say the words of Dean’s actual favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut --  So it goes.

[rantheon]

the bakarina anime is done! it’s just a drop in the ocean that is the otome isekai genre so these are some recs + what you need to know about them. i just listed most of my favs otherwise it’d be too long :p

in no particular order. includes some non-isekai ones too. needless to say most of these aren’t completed yet

my next life as a villainess: all routes lead to doom

using this to plug that there’s more bakarina content in the form of light novels, manga and 3 spin-offs

an observation record of my fiancee - a self-proclaimed villainess

told in the pov of prince cecil, whose fiancee bertia straight up tells him she’s a villainess of an otome game from her past life

if you ever wonder what jeord from bakarina might be thinking half the time, this is probably close. cecil is the same kind of prince who initially finds things bored and predictable until they met the mc

the things cecil would get up to for bertia? hoo boy

also the way the mangaka draws hair is addicting to look at

the villainess cecilia silvie doesn’t want to die so she decided to crossdress

the title speaks for itself~ after remembering an otome game she played in her past life, cecil (previously cecilia) is now the one capturing the hearts of the academy ladies instead

it’s fairly new so there’s not much of it yet :c but it’s pretty interesting

the original otome game had a whole rpg combat system going on and i’m hyped to see how it’s gonna lead the story

the Angelique vibes are strong in this one

the villainess wants to marry a commoner

isabella used to play an otome game in a past life, but she was really only interested in a side character named ursch. and then one day she finds him in her mansion garden

her past life self is such a mood - i too have 100% otome games in hopes of side characters getting hidden routes but alas

definitely deserves the ‘video game’ tag. isabella can see status screens and character stats/skills etc, and all the gacha rewards and grinding transferred over after her reincarnation. she’s the isekai female protag we’ve always wanted

seriously the main ship is too op for their own good aha

deathbound duke’s daughter

in a past life, erika only managed to finish 2.5/7 scenarios of an otome game thanks to an unlucky encounter with knife-kun. with the different flags of her impending doom approaching, she takes things into her own hands years before the game events start

very fantasy-oriented (the most on this list) and pretty action-packed, once you get past the game exposition in the first 3? chapters

the world building is brilliant, from the hafan mages to the aurelian alchemists, and there’s beasts and wands and spells and dnd stuff sprinkled in

the cast has quite interesting dynamics and interwoven plotlines, and they’re all dorky in their way :>

beware of the villainess

melissa remembers a novel from her past life and desperately tries to cut off contact with the male leads, but they still make her life hell & she rages

she’s just so done with everyone and you can’t help but relate to her

definitely the funniest on this list XD melissa and her reactions takes the cake but even the shit characters are hilarious in their own way

there’s also a lot of parodies to memes etc & best of all, there’s cussing. all the shits and fucks. a whole lot of it

it’s great

death is the only ending for the villainess

penelope wakes up as the villainess from a game she’d been playing in her past life, only right now it's on the hardest difficulty where death is literally everywhere. thus she tries, well, not dying

what’s cool about this is that penelope has access to the original game system. she can see menus, choice options etc. the male leads even have affection percentages floating above their heads :> which is always cool to see (and what i’m a sucker for)

but it’s definitely one of the darker ones on this list. iirc there’s depictions of violence, abuse, drugs and then some. just a fair warning

the daughter of albert house wishes for ruin

upon realizing that she’s the villainess from a past-life otome game, mary decides to stay as one. chaos ensues

i love this manga so much, everyone is so quirky and there’s something to laugh about on almost every page. the story almost feels self-aware of itself and just lets the characters do whatever. like ride bikes

addie is so cute ;o;

it’s definitely something everyone should experience

i’m a villainess daughter so i’m going to keep the last boss

one of the finished ones!

post-annulment, aileen pulls a Lisa Tepes and asks the demon king claude to marry her. he refuses. hijinks ensues

mostly on the fantasy side, as it builds on the world of the monsters

the cast is pretty fun! aileen’s smart, funny and pretty competent in her own right. plus she and claude are positively adorable together

milady just wants to relax

post-annulment, ronia decides to open a cafe in the countryside. it later becomes the frequent hangout of a beastmen mercenary group, who are intensely feared by the townsfolk

well... beastmen. that’s all you need to know /wink

okay, that aside, it’s just as chill as the title suggests. ronia slowly makes friends she can trust, and the beastmen find a second home in the only cafe that’s willing to accept them. it’s pretty wholesome

the banished villainess! living the leisurely life of a nun making revolutionary food

despite actively trying to change her ‘villainess from a past-life otome game’ fate since childhood, elizabeth gets annulled, her noble title stripped, and is sent to a church in a neighboring kingdom. she enjoys it more than expected, despite the appearance of the ever watchful leonid

there’s plenty of 21st-century food like sandwiches, cotton candy leonid’s muscles <3

the entire cast is lovable, and can chris get an f for all the heart attacks leonid keep giving him

seduce the villain’s father

yereninovica (or just yerenica) realizes that she’s in the world of a novel she read in her past life, but as the aunt of said novel’s mc. after thwarting a kidnapping that’s basically the mc’s origin story, she takes it upon herself to also prevent the tragic death of emperor belgoat

a bit different since it switches the roles around (side character x side character) and goes into the “parent generation” of the original work

there’s also an interesting bit where the world seems to recognize her as a hijacker, and where that takes her, we’ll see in due time :o:

plus the way yeni habitually calls him ‘father’ cracks me up every time

transferred to another world but i’m the savior of an otome game

after a ritual gone wrong, “yamada tarou” (fake name) is stuck in the world of an otome game. the only way back is with a magical ring, normally obtained after becoming the lover of one of the male leads. he of course says no i’m going adventuring but the game doesn’t like that

it’s absolutely hilarious - the leads treat our mc like a heroine, and there’s a lot of otome tropes that are called out on/parodied. like the seiyuus’ names oh my god

tarou’s reactions are great and his appraisal skill is the funniest thing alive

endo and kobayashi’s live commentary on the villainess

in modern japan, endo and kobayashi start their playthrough of an otome game, which becomes a bit glitchy and odd. they discover that siegward, a male lead in the game, can hear what they’re saying. they use this chance to finally give lisolette a happier ending

much of the story’s focus is on the characters slowly warming up to lisolette, and a bit on endo/kobayashi’s irl relationship. despite being the primary drive of the story, lisolette herself hardly moves the plot - if you know what i mean

regardless it’s undeniably adorable

tearmoon empire

no isekai, more of time travel? chronoskimming?

mia wakes up 10 years in the past after being sentenced to death. now afraid of guillotine-kun, she strives to solve the issues in her kingdom that had previously led to her doom

a bit similar to bakarina in terms of concept: avoid death flags, unknowingly recruits the people she meets into her little saintess cult. the misinterpretation is very strong, and in brilliantly funny ways

it has really fun narration ngl especially in the light novel

of course, i’ll claim palimony!

to prepare for her annulment, yulia starts scheming recording her fiance’s meetups with the heroine to use as evidence. if you’re gonna lose a suitor, might as well get some money out of it, right? along the way she gets involved with rudonik, one of the male leads

no reincarnation. rather than an otome game, the villainess story comes from a book written by a side character, and the “heroine” just decided to play it out in real life

the cast together is a riot, and it’s entertaining to watch yulia only think in profits and every connection she can make to achieve it

the villainess’ slow prison life began with her broken engagement

no isekai, just a plain old villainess

post-annulment, rachel is sentenced to imprisonment. which she enjoys and is thoroughly, hilariously prepared for

everyone’s a little afraid of rachel and for good reason. it’s better to find out yourself through the LN or manga, but let’s just say that even the king doesn’t want to deal with her XD

the holy grail of eris

now this one is interesting, putting the villainess trope into a mystery ghost story. that said, no isekai either

our innocent heroine constance attends a party and encounters scarlet, an executed villainess from ten years ago. a body possession and some public embarrassment later, they decide to team up to solve the mystery that might be behind scarlet’s death

i mean, ghost villainess? sign me up

+ some honorable mentions

i favor the villainess (the heroine goes for the villainess- girls? girls? yes)

a bellicose lady got reincarnated (a delinquent reincarnates as a heroine; what a concept :o unfortunately there’s not a lot of english content for it yet)

it seems i got reincarnated into a yandere otome game (i like that the mc actively makes it so that game can’t ever happen the way it should; plus, yanderes are always interesting to study)

inso’s law (modern isekai, and quite cute!)

the reincarnated young lady aims to be an adventurer / holy guardian tiger (similar to deathbound duke’s daughter in that there’s more of a focus on the fantasy aspect)

expecting to fall into ruin, i aim to become a blacksmith (so far the only one with a shounen tag that i like; its main charm is probably the cast and their interactions with each other eliza best girl)

since i’ve reincarnated as the villainess’ father i’ll shower my wife and daughter with love (big big wholesome vibes)

level 99 villainous daughter (severely op lady who takes no shit from the people looking down at her, and regularly thinks about blowing up the academy within the first 4 chapters? hell yeah)

may i please just ask one last thing? (post-annulment, the mc literally punches everyone in the room; it’s great)

this is getting long now oops

edit: i also made a visual-friendly personally-tagged-by-me bookshelf here!

[certifiedceraunophile]

KLAROLINE FALL BINGO PREVIEW.

@eliliyah @klarolinefallbingo

Prompt: Dias De Muertos

Honestly the relevancy of the prompt comes far to late in the story but it’s there, kinda. But hey it’s there.

MASQUERADES

(CinemaAU)

Sometimes all she needed was to take a breather. A single moment. One pause.

Breathe in.

To collect her thoughts and emotions. To steady her bearings.

To state in a repetitive loop all the reasons why punching one Niklaus Mikaelson in the balls would be a marginally bad idea.

And breathe out.

Forgive her, but The man was infuriating. Okay?

And unashamedly so. Not a whit of genuine compunction behind that facade of ‘Inescapable Charisma and Unadulterated Allure.’

Definitely not her words.

Nope. No sir.

These were the words of a certain Greta Martin, editor-in-chief for the first October issue of People Magazine.

With one Mega-frustrating arrogant blonde blue-eyed dimpled asshat demon going by the name Klaus slapped to the front of said issue.

And Nope if anyone asks,

No, she did not literally just shred -In a shredding machine no less, because efficiency, thank you very much- the first copy of the magazine she bought, after reading the beginning eight lines on his exclusive, recounting what a ‘delightfully satisfying and marvellous experience the entire three months of shooting turned out to be.’

Ok one Black-hole sized pause right there please.

Thank you.

A single beat.

And....

The Absolute Fuck?!

She’s sorry. Marvellous experience?

Excuse her, but say what?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Beg pardon but What?

Excuse her.

But Marvellous experience, as in, aggressive quotation marks scratching the air “Marvellous experience” is NOT how she remembers it.

The slap in the face obvious discrepancy to both their stories is definitely not blind to her.

He called 84 re-takes that lasted four whole hours for one eight minute long single-shot single-angle scene, Marvellous.

He called having ice-cold Whiteclaw thrown square on his face by a Absolutely-done-with-wild-gust-of-agitated-Blonde-Fury on the eighth day of set, Marvellous.

He called having two separate make-up artists downright quit after being unable to touch up her makeup every thirteen seconds because she ran her hand down her face in unbridled aggravation every time her eyes landed on him, Marvellous.

He called the same experience where, she had to literally rush out of a set, under the ruse of a bathroom break, Twice in the course of three months, so that she can peacefully go through the motions of a rage-fueled emotional meltdown, complete with angry frustrated tears and a relentlessly colourful diatribe, cursing every man in her life who bore even a sliver of resemblance to the stormy-blue-eyed spawn of satan that was her co-actor, Marvellous.

God. How the hell did he possibly think he could get away with this,

How did he think he was going to smooth over the transparent inconsistencies between her interviews and his, without raising at least a few confused questions from bloodthirsty intuitive fans and the Press in general.

Given how her talk-show interviews and magazine exclusives gave the steady image, that

1. Klaus Mikaelson is a dick and a half, with an overgrown ego so ginormous that even the entirety of Tinseltown is ‘plainly restricting of his nonpareil talent in histrionic execution.’

2. Klaus Mikaelson is an arrogant narcissistic asshole that Hast pronounc'd upon his brethren yond this day f'rth that gent shalt with ev'ry smidgen of purpose in his life striveth to be the Unrivalled Bane of Caroline Forbes’ Existence.

3. The process of Creating the undeniable tour de force Masterpiece that was ‘100 years of solitude.’ The newest Christopher Nolan Direction and Production in theatres right now, that already has definite Academy Awards Nomination in the talks, was anything but Marvellous. She admits, It was so so gratifying and made her heart full with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, that left her giddy with such lighthearted contentment for days, after the phenomenal response it garnered post-premiering, Yes. But that does not capsulate how frustratingly tiresome and emotionally debilitating the entire creation process was. Hell it was downright painful at times.

4. Would she voluntarily take another movie with Klaus Mikaelson as a Co-star alongside her? You can get back to her when the sun starts to rise from the west and the answer would still be a definitive NO.

Now of course she wasn’t this brazen with her claims she knows how to be cute and classy and concise.

But she definitely did not mitigate the truth of her statement, she’s had enough training with her PR department to know what to say and how to say it but she’s sure that nobody had been able to overlook her less than companionable remarks about Klaus.

For example

The Stephen Colbert Show:

Stephen: “So Caroline tell us about the process, the Making of it, how everything fell into place like tiny puzzle pieces to reveal at last this grand, Grand Picture.”

“The process? Well the process was certainly not...pretty...but after every time we finished a scene, however small or inconsequential it may have seemed to the plot, there was this immense sense of ‘there-Done it. And done it well.’ ”

Jimmy Kimmel Live:

“Klaus Mikaelson, well my Co-star is um....eccentric at best.....”

Jimmy: “and at worst?”

“Well..... I guess” -hellish, heinously intolerable, a cruel mean bastard- “....Unyielding...?”

The Ellen Show:

“Well Klaus was a..... demanding partner and it took Herculean efforts to meet his exacting standards, but I can understand how that paid off so well on screen. The end result when I saw it for the first time, it damn well paid off.”

Ellen: “so he is absolved of his admittedly ‘uphill’ personality then?”

She laughs awkwardly,

“Ye-ah....No.”

followed by more laughter dissolving the painstaking grimace she’s trying to tamper down.

Oh and the worst.

The Late Late show with James Cordon:

During the ‘Fill Your Guts or Spill Your Guts’ segment

James: “So....I’m going to give you, let’s see, Ah there, the Bird Saliva.”

Caroline: “James!.... Damn it, you are so not making it into my good books, and....God. That’s just disconcerting I mean, How do they even, I don’t know... collect it?”

James: “Well there’s a whole process of harvesting it from the salivary glands and—“

Caroline: “Never mind! Nope. No need for the details, please, James, a lady’s delicate sensibilities are at stake. And unless the question is ‘what is your social security number?’ I’m not drinking this poison.”

James: “Now Caroline you wound me, I can assure you everything on this table is edible albeit being marginally unpalatable—“

Caroline: “Marginally?!”

James: “You should try the Cow’s tongue. It’s delectable.” Followed by a sagely nod.

Caroline: “Now I’m just intensely bothered. You’ve definitely lost all claim for a spot in my good books.”

James: “Ah well, speaking of staying in your good graces, here’s a question that will have you downing that Saliva in seconds.”

Caroline: “Hit me.”

James: “Well then, ‘Name Any one CO-star with whom you have worked with in the past that you would never volunteer to work with again.’”

Pause.

And the audience descended.

“Like I said, speaking about staying in your good books.”

Amidst the raucous screams, whistles and laughter, it didn’t even bother Caroline, the clarity and speed with which the name

‘Klaus Mikaelson’ flashed in the front of her mind, like a large Neon LED sign from a typical Vegas Nightlife scene.

It took her a total of three seconds to know that she was going to answer with his name because, well just look at that drink in front of her,

Sure if you bend over real low and squint in the right light it may look like a harmless Daiquiri, but a Daiquiri it was not.

No. This was Bird Freaking Saliva,

Come on, you can’t possibly ask her to put that in her goddamn mouth.

Like NO.

Just no.

So sue her for protecting her taste buds that are yet to experience many more exotic flavours and textures of food from all around the world.

But then again she can’t possibly outright just say “Oh that’s easy, Klaus Mikaelson.”

That’s exactly the kinda PR trouble she wants to stay above and definitely didn’t need to be wrung out dry by her Spitfire Mistress-of-Hell Publicist Katherine Pierce for.

(Who also alternates as her BFF, occasionally, mind you.)

So she puts on a good show, dropped her head in her hands, gave a healthy long groan, looked up and gave James her best wounded Puppy Dog eyes, to which he was clearly not immune to, judging by how he looked a touch chagrined, but the game was just as much as beyond his hands as it were hers,

She looked to the audience “You guys are so mean, it’s not even funny.”

And grumbled a bit more till everyone was laughing and pitching forward and back on their seat amused by the poor Blonde’s Dilemma.

So she looked up to the heavens as if to ask for some unknown deity for deliverance and guidance, and poised herself to drink,

Only to put the glass back down in the last second in a begrudgingly weak show of caving in, and blurted out reluctantly,

(She’s a glorious actor, she’s aware.)

“You know what, Nope. He’s just gotta deal with it, okay?.”

Deep breath

Or was it the audience taking a deep breath and holding it in,

“ItsKlausMikaelson,PleaseDontKillMe.”

Pause again.

And the auditorium transcended.

Well,

she handled that, pretty well, if she does say so herself you know.

Apparently Kat Disagrees.

Apparently She Blew It.

She blew it so hard she could’ve knocked down the third little pig’s brick house.

Ironic since she always envisioned Klaus as the Big Bad Wolf who huffs and puffs and just generally blows.

Apparently her little admission was a PR disaster.

And Kat was furious.

The two minute edited clip that encompassed the question, the reluctant grumbling and finally the confession was apparently now a viral video on all social networking platforms.

They were trending on twitter under the hashtag

#KlarolineUnrequitedLoveIsABitch.

But her admission to being generally averted on taking up Klaus as a colleague again was apparently only one half of the video,

The other half....

Well the other other half was Klaus with his personal confession.

God, it wasn’t even a confession,

it was a—a Mockery, yes that’s it, a Mockery,

Of Her, no less

Basically Here’s the run down of the second insidious half of the video,

Klaus sitting in front of Graham Norton, in all their British glory, going live on The Graham Norton Show,

when asked about Caroline Forbes, his “partner” on scene has the audacity to let out this evil little amused huff and say:

“Caroline?” Another amused huff. “Well Caroline, Christ, where do I start? She’s an absolutely glorious presence on set. Her energy....it’s infectious, She hits you like a blonde hurricane of sunshine and snark and you’re just left staring up at the sun thinking, ‘you need to catch up mate, if you want to be half as bright and burning as her.’”

And Caroline thinks maybe this is the feeling of your brain imploding within the confines of the skull.

TBC

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

[deadmomjokes]

For me, part of being asexual means that I get really, REALLY grouchy about a lot of romance in media. Rather, the obsession with romance, sex, and sexuality in media. I am that person that will roll my eyes and turn off a movie if it looks like it’s turning into some steamy nonsense, and I will never willingly sit through a romcom even if you paid me. Sex scenes? I’m out. Passionate kissing? Peace, I’m going to the kitchen, want anything? Call me back when the actual story gets back on. Ridiculous ‘ooh they have such SEXUAL TENSION and chemistry, let’s see how close we can get to making them kiss and just have them breathe heavily in each others faces to get our audience all bothered’? I will end you all. I HATE when books or movies or shows throw in a romantic or sexy subplot just for the lols, at least what I perceive as the lols. Basically, a romance has to be really super duper well-crafted for me to get behind it and not be just utterly enraged or completely turned off from the story.

(Also please note that when I use the term romance in this context, I’m using it as a catch all for ship-based storylines that, due to our culture’s obsession with sex, usually include or hinge on sex or kissy scenes.)

That being said. When a romance is done well, and I mean really well, I absolutely 100% lose my mind. I feel that mess in my soul.

So with that introduction, allow me to lay out a few of my favorite (and, in some instances, most maddeningly painful) romances/canon ships in media.

(read more because I went off. like I said, I feel this way too deeply when it’s done well.)

Winry Rockbell and Edward Elric in FMA:B. Slow burn, mutual pining, mutual cluelessness, what’s not to love? So soft and tender and funny all at the same time, and the mad respect Ed has for Winry is absolutely delightful. She does her own thing, and he’s totally supportive, just as she is of him. And a happily ever after??? UGH, I can’t, it’s perfect. The most straightforward and least convoluted of my whole list, and it’s comparatively easy to breeze through. FMA:B is great anyhow, so do yourself a favor and go watch it.

Audrey Parker/ Nathan Wuornos in Haven (with major caveats). Caveats first: they went overboard with the sexy stuff in my opinion. It got too smutty for me, but my tolerance for that stuff is super low, and it did still air on TV, so evidently it wasn’t as bad for the target audience as it was for my sex-in-media-repulsed self. I also find the final seasons to get a bit stale and repetitive in terms of them trying to advance the love story narrative (all the plot points for it got addressed in earlier episodes/seasons, so why are we going over it again??). They also have a bit of an issue in some episodes with dragging out conflicts because the characters just won’t talk to each other like adults. But overall, taken as a whole, it hits hard. Again, we have a slow burn, mutual pining dynamic that starts as a genuine platonic friendship, and transforms into a dimension and time defying chosen soulmates love story for the ages. The things they would do to save each other, even if it means they can never be together, just so they have the joy of knowing that their beloved is okay. The tiny ways they take care of each other- Audrey testing Nathan’s coffee to see if it’s too hot, Nathan slowing down so he doesn’t out-pace her, it’s just adorable.

Faramir and Eowyn in The Lord of the Rings BOOKS. This is an interesting one because it happens really quickly and between two minor characters. But Tolkien did this really interesting thing where he established these two characters separately, and then brought them together and played off what we knew about each of them in context of everything else that had happened with the main story, and suddenly it has, as one of my professors would say, “the illusion of depth.” Faramir absolutely falls head over heels for Eowyn but won’t act until she can deal with her own crap and be emotionally available. Eowyn realizes that she was hung up on ideals, illusions, and false dichotomies. Faramir has been through a lot and is looking for peace. Eowyn is looking for who she really is when she realizes she has more than two choices in life. They find healing together, and in the process, find what they were looking for in each other. And all that happens in the space of, like, 4 pages. I LOVE IT.

Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill in Stargate SG1. This one will hurt you to no end. You will hate life. But gosh dang if they aren’t perfect. This is the slowest burn and most mutual pining of all slow burn mutual pining ships to ever grace media. I’m talking 8 seasons of these two sharing feelings but being unable to express it for one reason or another. What are those reasons, you ask? Jack is her superior and respects her too much to put her in that position. No fraternization on the team. Sam has career aspirations, he won’t ruin her life. He’s got his own issues to work through and knows he isn’t emotionally available. Sam is clueless for a while, then when she realizes she has feelings for him but it couldn’t be because of their work dynamic and because he’s still dealing with his own crap, she tries to move on but keeps coming back to the unspoken fact that she still loves him. To the point that she breaks off her own engagement to a great guy because she realizes she was only trying to move on-- and wasn’t successful. They are clearly in deep for each other, and yet they keep making excuses why they can’t say it.

In the whole series, they never officially get together, and I HATE THAT. There are multiple alternate realities and timelines where they are together, and happy, but in the main timeline, they can’t get over themselves, and it hurts so bad because they’re so perfect. Jack knows she’s the smartest person in the room, and he supports her and defends her and listens to and defers to her. He respects her first as an expert, then as a colleague, and then as a woman whom he deeply loves even though he can’t find it in him to love himself. She appreciates his experience and leadership, and trusts him implicitly. She knows she’s got more book smarts, but relies on his judgement and ability to remain calm under pressure. She also knows she can be real with him, and he knows that when she calls him on his BS he better listen. She is his conscience, and he is her backbone. And in between episodes where they’re clearly pining for each other, and even during, they’re really great friends and a great team. I could seriously write an essay on why this ship is both perfect and intensely frustrating, but then again, you could just watch a great and classic series and see what I mean for yourself. (Then you’d also get to meet the perfection that is Teal’c, and watch Daniel Jackson’s transition from Milo Thatch in Space to sassy beefcake demigod who still loves archaeology.)

Beren and Luthien, Tolkien part 2, electric boogaloo. A love so powerful it transcends death, fate, hell and heaven all at once. It’s kind of wild and not what you’d expect if you’ve only read LotR (or only seen the movies), because it’s more a classic fairy tale than anything, but hot dang if it isn’t still one of the most powerful, moving, deeply impactful love stories in all of writing. It’s even a “love at first sight” narrative and I STILL fall hard for it. This story legit moves me to tears every dang time I read it, or even think about it too hard.

It starts as a simple “forbidden love” story, but these two loved each other so much that they defied one of the most powerful kings in all the world at that time (who was also Luthien’s dad, oopsies), defied Satan himself and marched into Hell just for the chance to be together, and then changed the very way the world works forever just so they could stay together and not be parted. Luthien is a total BEAST, while never giving up her gentle, loving, and tender nature. For the love of this man, she defies her father’s wishes and breaks herself out of her own dang tower to go rescue her prince instead of the other way round, she sends Sauron (yeah, he’s here too!) scurrying with his tail between his legs, wrecks his house, and frees all his slaves and prisoners just to try and get to Beren, drags his butt out of heck part 1, then willingly walks into literal, actual Hell with him and proceeds to enchant Satan and all the demons within. Then she gets her bf outta there after he loses his hand, and goes back to face her father unafraid. Basically, Beren undertakes a literally impossible task just for the chance to be with Luthien, but Luthien is the one that makes it happen because she loves him too much to sit around knowing he’s going to die. She’s willing to die with him rather than live without him, but more willing to dare death to come at her and get some because ain’t no way she’s losing him.

Then, at the last, when all should have been their happily ever after, everything goes wrong and she loses her beloved, and instead of mourning forever, she yeets off her mortal coil out of pure “Oh no you didn’t, not after all we went through” just to go stand before the God of Fate and the Dead and plead with him to change the rules of the universe itself just so that she can be with Beren. And he does it, because their love is so strong. Just for them, all of existence is rewritten so that they might never be parted.

And if you don’t think that’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard, consider also: these two crazy kids were so wonderful that the Goodest Boy in all the world, a functionally immortal and super-intelligent dog sent from heaven itself by a literal god, willingly turned on all his masters and spontaneously learned intelligent speech just so he could help them out and be their Good Boy til the bitter end, thus (in Tolkien’s mythos) starting the whole “man’s best friend” thing with dogs. So yeah. And, uh, Tolkien based it on him and his wife, to the point of ripping their first meeting frame-for-frame from real life. It’s too much y’all.

Anyhow, this post is way, way too long, but I was just feeling the need to get that out there. Maybe I’ll have more in the future, but for now, this is what was on my mind. Particularly the last two.

[flow-green]

Fresh dog onwer and a Fuck-It-Diet

Slowly I am crawling out from my black hole. Few months of silence has been broken. I disappeared for a bit due to quite severe reason. I will not reveal it here in details, if anyone is interested, feel free to DM me :). It was not related to my ED. Life just happened and decided to throw quite a tricky challenge on my way, which luckily got solved in a positive way, and within March I managed to pick myself back up again.

These two months were quite adventurous and opened my eyes on many levels. I started to appreciate more what and who surrounds me and how dear and important my family and close ones are to me. I realized that I hurt them with my self-destructive behavior and this constant worrying over me is an unnecessary burden and a source for stress. So, I am really grateful for this experience. More and more I have started to let go of the restrictions and demons in my head and slowly move towards a mentality that my body is my own temple, my own home and serves me and myself only, and not someone else. Or, well, perhaps in an uncertain future it will be a temporary home for another person, so I should really take care of my body.

These last two weeks have opened my eyes even more, because by a happy accident I stumbled upon a book, but more on that a bit later. First, I would like to tell you about one of the biggest changes of my life, which has brought so much happiness and positivity to our lives. Namely, we now have a new family member. No, I did not have a baby (a bit ironic in this context...), but now there is a constant cheerful pit-a-pat on our floor, made by four cute little paws. On February 16 we got an unexpected opportunity to get a dog! Charlie has now been with us almost 2 months, 2 amazing months. In his quite unique size and unknown breed (we suspect a fox is somehow involved...) he has turned us into these crazy dog lady and sir, you know, like a crazy cat lady.

I think if people saw us right now just the three of us in our natural habitat, they would never ever dare to do any official busines with us.

Anyhow, here he is. Charlie even has his own Instagram account (another sign that we definitely are not normal)

Mr. Dog has a massive amount of dog fur which happily floats all over the house and if we vacuum the entire place on Wednesday morning, all the fur bunnies have taken their natural place back to themselves.

Charlie is cool. With his happy face he rides with us to all the places around the country, he loves car rides. Every weekend we go to some new place in Estonia to explore, our 10 km (over 6 miles) hikes have become our cool new habit. One morning was especially special. We both lost our sleep around 4 AM in the morning and after an hour of chit chat in the bed while Charlie still slept between us (yes, he is a heavy sleeper and definitely not a morning person and yes, he sleeps in our bed. Deal with it), we decided that enough of bedtime and no more sleep. let’s wake up as the sun will rise at 6 AM. Let’s make some breakfast and lunch to go, watch the sunrise with coffee and then go to an early hike in Käsmu, around the epic seaside in Northern Estonia. Done deal. This was one of the most amazing days in my life.

Charlie is just like a therapy dog. Every time when I feel like breaking down in tears, I hug Charlie tight and let him comfort me with his soft cuddles and confident and wise eyes. All the sorrow and worries are gone. Charlie has also made us so active physically. We take several longer or shorter walks throughout the day. I have started to really love walking and running again and for me, for myself, and not for calories or for punishment. I am not counting distance or pace anymore. Every evening I fall asleep, happily excited about my upcoming morning run. I truly enjoy every last step I take.

But, as I promised, a few lines about my new ‘diet’ called The Fuck It Diet. Recently, I pampered myself with another e-reader and this motivated me to search some books which are suggested for people struggling with eating disorders. ‘The Fuck It Diet’ popped up and caught my eye. I managed to get it as an e-book and eagerly dug the pages in. The first lines already made my jaw drop: at first with anger towards the stated facts and later on because of complete understanding.

This book has totally topsy-turvy’ed my views as it describes my current situation in exquisite correct details. My whole belief system about diets, eating habits and weight numbers have completely changed. The whole book teaches you how to get rid of food addiction, self-esteem issues and obsession about body image and weight.

Why have I spent over 10 years battling with anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder? Why do I relapse in my hardest moments and total body hating world into an absurd calorie restriction, where I lose 6+ kg in 2 months, can keep myself skinny, yet sad for maximum 3-4 months, because I will not allow myself to eat anything as I want to lose even more to keep some buffer weight, then get tired and surrender and then eat back all those lost pounds and even more within few weeks? Why can’t I lose weight if I decide that instead of starving myself instead, I will go on some new diet, but this gives no result, weight will not drop, I get frustrated and get back to purging out food or get back to bingeing? Why does this wheel go round, and round and my weight will keep fluctuating vigorously and never stabilizes? Who do I go from one extreme to another? I have punished and scolded myself for years. I have tried to search or reasons: perhaps my genes are messed up and I am forever destined to keep my intake at 500 calories, so I can keep myself in that sweet spot of underweight and normal weight (because that is the only acceptable weight range for me. Sick, isn’t it?)

And then I got my answer: it is not about me or my genes. It’s because of these diets, no matter how beautiful the creators have painted them. It’s because human body has not meant to follow absurd rules about eating, be it fasting, LCHF, keto, paleo, raw vegan, or even mindful eating (eat slow! Rate your hunger! It’s under 10? You are not about to collapse from hunger? Good, drink some lemon water instead. See? Another bunch of rules to stress your brain out).

Most people commute from one diet to another, follows the rules and counts the calories for few months and then a relapse enters. it always does. Then, you will buy another diet plan, which promises even better results. You will haul for absurdly expensive foods like nut butters, almond flour, coconut oil. You replace your favorite foods with some silly alternative. You Google why the hell do I have a massive craving for Chocolate, which of course is your forbidden food. Google tells you have a magnesium deficiency (which might actually be true you know), but the solution: eat 12 almonds and forget about the chocolate. Be honest, that answer frustrates you a bit, deep down. So, instead to go and buy the damn chocolate and make your brain shut up, you force the craving down because FORBIDDEN! But at some point, you still go, buy the chocolate, eat it, and then promise yourself that now you will not touch another piece of chocolate once in upcoming months, will also restrict your intake a few weeks and eat your almonds. And are miserable. And then you eat some more chocolate. And are miserable again. Round and round, it goes.

And you gain those 10 pounds back. WHY, for the love of god?

Simple: your body has no clue whatsoever anymore, what the hell is going on. Years and years, you have kept your body in an unnatural state of starving, famine. Dietary culture has taught us that in order to lose weight all nice, you need to keep yourself in a calorie deficit and this should be around 1200-1500 cals in a day, maximum calorie intake cannot be more than 2000. You count every bite, every mouthful, you write it all down to MyFitnessPal. You eat your food, but you still crave for something more and are already worried about your next meal: can I eat something soon? What can I eat for dinner? Dude, you JUST ate, and you SHOULD feel full. If you don’t, there is obviously a problem. If you are full and STILL want something, there is obviously a problem. And your body is screaming at you the only solution. You worry about food 85% of your day (for me it was 100%, yes, even when I was having sex. Just SPECTACULARLY awesome!)

Body is not stupid. Body now has been taught that no matter what, there is always a next diet and famine state around every corner all the time. Body is scared. Body listens to the brain which constantly repeats those endless rules about eating. No chocolate, no pizza, bread is bad, cheese is bad, ice cream?! Are you stupid? Only a mango sorbet, something sugar free and watery or even better: make your own ice cream from banana (but remember, only HALF A banana!). Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest and then you will go and buy 2 liters of ice cream and eat it all in one go. You will torture yourself afterwards because ice cream is forbidden. You cannot eat it; you need to restrict and go for a 20-k run.

Now comes the most sillies, but the most logical fact: in order to break the cycle, there is only one simple solution: EAT! Everything. A lot. Eat it all that you have craved for years and years and have vetoed. Eat your cravings. Eat even when you are not hungry. Just eat whenever you feel like it. Eat until you are absolutely 100% satisfied and say honestly: no more. This process can take weeks, months, even years, depending on the individual. People in the book describe how they needed three whole years to reprogram their body back to its natural cycle. And it is scary, boy it’s scary. But you just need to take the leap into the water full speed, no splashing with your toes a bit to test the water. The faster you jump, the faster you get the wheels running. Result? Body calms down. Brain can finally rest and reprogram itself back to the way it must be. No food is forbidden anymore (unless you have a severe nut allergy. Please do not eat nuts if you might actually die). The brain now knows that whenever it wants something, it can actually get it, no strings attached, and calms down.

Yes, your will gain weight, sorry, this is not all strawberries and cream (yum, now I want strawberries and cream, will get some for dinner). At first, your body will not trust you. Would you trust yourself if you have been treated miserably for years? It is certain that it’s a trick and another diet is just around the corner. It takes time for it to calm down and start functioning the way it was meant to be. Weight will go up until the body heals and then... it will stop, the weight will naturally balance out, probably even go back down between the weight set points that everyone has, depending on your body and personal physical factor. I know that my middle goldilocks zone is about 5-6 kg more than my absolute lowest weight (right now I am around 10 kg heavier than my all time lowest and it is still in between my weight set points) and I am now completely okay with that number.

And I have now practiced this approach for half a week. Day before yesterday I had some Hesburger (McDonalds basically; had a vegan burger with FRIES), yesterday I ordered myself a vegan pizza without a second thought, with vegan cheese and everything, the whole package. I have now eaten ice cream for 4 days straight (one of my biggest forbidden foods), some vegan desserts. And yesterday I had my first shocking moment. I bought myself another ice cream after the pizza and right after I had bought it, I realized, that I actually do not want it right now. I have no craving. I got home and threw it in the freezer. After my dinner of soup and grilled cheese (!!!), I decided that I am going to eat the ice cream now. I had eaten half of it when I felt that I don’t want it anymore. I still finished it as it was a really small cone, but it was clearly more than enough. The rest of the evening I had no more cravings at all, no hunger. I didn’t even think about food anymore. I just enjoyed the movie with my SO and Charlie. Usually after dinner I was already overthinking about my next meal that was obviously hours away in the morning as no food after 6 PM and I definitely want something as breakfast is so far away, and besides, I try to postpone breakfast anyway as much as possible because intermittent fasting 16 hours +, which made me especially cranky and created countless of mornings with fights and tears with my SO. But now... no cravings and hunger for the entire night. Today morning I woke up with stomach still full from last night. I did not think about foo. Few hours later I bought some oatmeal, carrots, and hummus – and not because it is super healthy, and I am not allowed to eat anything else. No. I actually had a massive craving for carrots and hummus and oatmeal. For lunch, we decided to take some local hand-made burgers. I ordered vegan burger, but as a naked version without buns. Once again, not because empty forbidden bread calorie, but because I actually wanted that hearty vegan patty to sit on a pile of fresh leafy greens, peppers, tomatoes, and cucumbers. My stomach was still quite full of carrot snacks and past dew days’ fast food. I had no inner battle about this with craving vs forbidden food. Nope, I actually did not want any bread or bun.

That was around 3 PM. And hours later I am still full. Back then I had a sever fear over next meal or even a desperate need for additional snack (a forbidden chocolate, ice cream or something similar), but nooo, forbidden, which made the craving and fear even worse.

I have not thought about food today anymore, except now that I write this.

I have gained weight, yes, and it scares me to the core, and I confessed this few days ago to my SO. He looked at me with surprised eyes and said that to be honest, he has not even noticed I have gained, he only realizes this when I have days with severe low self-esteem and when I try to hide my naked body. I think the gain is around 5-6 kg (over 10 pounds), which is not even that big of a deal. Of course, I see and know I have gained, because my clothes now fit kind of perfectly, some rare pieces are a bit tight (I’m in XS-S size, 4-6, and clothes used to be kind of baggy even. Girl, do you need more proof that you are NOT FAT?), my legs are not super-tight sticks with a thigh cap and my collar bones do not press out. I have now extra inches on my body and probably this is the most difficult thing to accept. Recently, I saw over years that the first weight number of 5 has turned into 6 (in kg), over night, which means it was probably water weight from weekend of drinking and salty foods, so this means the actual one is still few kg lower, but the fear is still very real and at that moment I realized that I am tired of crying over a pair of numbers. I am so done. On this day, I asked my partner to hide the scale so I would not now where it is. I went for my morning run and when I came back, I saw him grinning and the scale had disappeared.

On Saturday we went to a birthday party. There was a hot tab with out-doors transportable sauna. Everyone was wild from happiness, except me. I had my bikini with me but for few days already I had stressed out that I will not join the tub, I will not expose my fat body like that. But my friend suggested me to break down the stubbornness, overcome my fears and just do it. No one will judge me, nobody notices, nobody even cares. All those fears are demons in my head. At the party I was sure that I will not go. But then, at some point, I gave myself a mental kick on the butt and went for it. And I am not sorry. I had a blast! Didn’t seem like anyone was giving me looks from head to toes and judged me with their eyes ‘god she is fat!’

This week has been tough, but I now have so many small wins in my bag and overcoming several problems - something I thought I can never do. My motivation has skyrocketed. I could never believe that there might be a time where I am not thinking about food so obsessively. Of course, I know that this is just the beginning of my healing and a long way is to go. I do believe it takes months to amend the damage done in over 10 years.

One of my first fears when reading the book was: What if I eat myself to the absurd size of 400 lbs. seen in those scary reality shows. And my brain gave me the logical answer right away: those 400pound people are also mentally sick, obsessive over food. They have eaten themselves to the slaves of food from very early stage of their lives, being influenced by family, social environment and whatnot, but I am only in my early thirties and 80% of my life I have eaten well-balanced foods and been in the normal weight range, some years I struggled with slight overweight due to puberty and stress from massive changes in life, but this sorted itself out naturally as I got rid of the puberty hormones and stress, weight fluctuated minimally, until I hurled myself head first to the world of diets and eating disorders,

So, most definitely I cannot eat myself to a 400 lbs., it is not physically possible. Perhaps the most real case scenario would be me gaining to 65 kg +, which is coming close to small obesity, but even this is not highly possible as I see that when eating normally, I cannot fit that much food in me and when my metabolism actually heals, the weight should stabilize out and probably even go down a bit. That would actually be a dream: that it will stop going up AND DOWN. I really  want that mental and physical stability back.

I miss a normal life. I am in a seriously perfect relationship which has been really close on the edge of abyss because of my sickly behavior. I have gambled with so many good things in my life and almost lost it all. Enough, seriously. I have

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 3 Thoughts (4kids) Part 1

(This began about half a year ago and I have only picked it back up recently. I haven’t changed anything from the thoughts I had back then. Also this covers the episodes up to 3x13.)

Okay... I have finally reached this point. I’ve been dying to watch season 3 for the last, like, 4 months and I had to put so much willpower into restraining myself so that I could rewatch the whole series properly. And now that I am finally here, I am nearly shaking with excitement because yessssss! It’s finally time for Enchantix and Valtor. I am filled with glorious anticipation (though, also a bit wary since I do not like the resolution of this season’s arc from what I remember) and so ready to dive in. Here we go:

3x01:

- Oh, damn! Summer vacation hasn’t even started yet? Wow, um, okay, I guess. I need to update my timeline a little bit.

- Seriously, there is Bloom and Sky drama and they won’t even tell us what it’s about? You’re just gonna shoehorn more stupidity in this just for the sake of it? Why am I even surprised?

- Damn, Layla absolutely killed those moves! Well, before Kiko fell on her and they all fell to the ground but that’s another thing. That was some next level coordination and acrobatic skills. I can only watch in awe and wish I had even a tenth of that.

- Why did Stella think she wouldn’t have a Princess Ball? I hope she doesn’t think that her parents think she’s a failure as a princess. And aww, poor baby. She’ll be so sad when she learns that her father is getting married to Cassandra instead of getting back with her mother.

- Seriously, what idiot looked at the Trix and went “Ah, yes! Let’s send Icy, the witch of ice, in a dimension of ice. She’ll be all contained there. Absolutely guaranteed. 100%.” Will you people wake the fuck up, wake your brains and start thinking for real ‘cause you’re definitely not doing that now. Also, let me just say that that was a big leap from Lightrock monastery (or whatever the hell it was) to the Omega dimension. I guess going after the ultimate power is much worse than the Army of Decay. That or the writers have no concept of how to make the punishment fit the crime.

- Poor Darcy and Stormy. They don’t seem to be handling the cold very well. Also, something about Stormy’s line that they’re probably talked about at Cloud Tower is really clawing at my mind but I can’t quite put my finger on it yet. It just sounds like... like she’s not really doing that for the power rather than for the attention and recognition which just starts all sorts of thoughts in my head and none of them lead to anything good, They all make me feel bad for the Trix, though.

- I’ve been dreading the whole thing with Chimera but that scene in the pizza place wasn’t so bad. And Winx tried to be friendly. But Tecna’s “Snap” was hilarious. The girl isn’t taking shit from anyone. I like. XD

- I am not really a fan of the dresses they were trying on but I like the idea of a magical thingy that changes the clothes for you instead of you having to do it manually. Can we get those, please? (Chimera’s “Later, losers” really reminded me of Mandy from Totally Spies btw.)

- Stormy and Darcy aren’t quite handling the ice skating. Also, damn, that snake froze Stormy’s magical beam. That is... freaky... and scary. It looks like they’re in a bit of a pickle.

- And here is where the timeline doesn’t make sense. If Marion and Oritel trapped Valtor in Omega before they proceeded to battle the Ancestral Witches, then how does he have a plaque with his name and sentence on it? That doesn’t make sense. Who had time to sentence him? Unless I got something wrong, then this is not legit.

(- Let’s make one thing perfectly clear. I will never refer to Valtor as “Baltor” or to Marion as “Miriam”. It is just not going to happen.)

- “Frozen dude” I can’t. XD That was kinda a good plan the Trix had there, though if Valtor weren’t so powerful, it wouldn’t have worked because the snakes would’ve killed him and then them as well. But hey, they’re in luck because...

- Holy shit, look at those powers! He totally destroyed the snakes before even working out the kinks from his shoulders. I love the blue color of his magic. I think it makes sense. I am so done with the show not addressing how shitty it must be to be trapped and completely still AND frozen for seventeen years. Instead they just threw in a line about it that only made him look more evil and I will be forever mad about this, thanks. (Can I at least hope that the Trix learned a bit from the whole Darkar experience? Probably not but Icy’s line about Valtor not giving them orders is still giving me hope that will only disappoint me later. (Also, Valtor seems very contained here considering all the rage he has later on. At least he starts out looking more normal.))

- Awww, those puppies were really cute! And Stella and Bloom were so quick to the rescue! That was really sweet! (What the hell was up with Chimera’s powers, though?)

- Oh, I loved Icy’s idea with the snake. It was so clever. And Valtor is already at it with the possession of mermaids. A true demon indeed. I love him.

- I actually like Stella’s pink dress more than the red one. Also, I like Musa’s long hair but it is very weird to me after I just saw her with the short hair, like, five minutes ago.

- Yeah, Sky’s there. Great! Moving on. Brandon was really trying to mess up Stella’s hair, huh? XD Oh, and Musa and Riven are still dancing around each other. (I’m so sorry for this.)

- That rescue was cool. And Layla with the little girl. But why didn’t she just fly to the shore and felt the need to surf instead? That has always puzzled me greatly. She is such a responsible princess, though. She immediately went when she was called upon. Precious!

- Okay, but that looks like Valtor is literally sucking out their souls, wtf! This is so cool/freaky and I am so here for it.

- Um, I don’t like the way the Trix are looking at Valtor. I know he’s powerful and everything but can they just not crush on the weird guy they’re teaming up with every time? Their flirting is just so awkward. Also, can we see them teaming up with a woman for once?

- That moment when you take over a fucking planet (well, not quite but he’s going for it) and you’re like “Damn, I hate being so weak. I need to take my power back”. How much more power? What the hell? I mean, of course I love him but they’re making him so overpowered and they will have to tear him apart later in order for Winx to be able to defeat him and just... can you not? Tone it down a little now so that you don’t have to ruin this actual perfection later gdi! Also, why the fuck would we get a normal motive when we can just have “Power!!!! MORE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Give me a good fucking motive dammit! Or at least explain why the fuck he wants that power!

3x02:

- Awww! Can we talk about the fact that Radius is so open and welcoming to Bloom? And he knows how much she means to Stella! That is so adorable, I’m gonna cry now.

- Stella is such a supportive friend! She let Bloom into the hall of the universe (that is the coolest thing ever btw) and she was quick to reassure her that Oritel and Marion are alive. And she should know how this thing works so... I love how “it showed them standing” means “they’re still standing” as in “they’re still alive”. That was cool.

- Ahh, he straight up walks through walls. Creep. XD (seriously, that is the least troubling bit about him tbh)

- Did Chimera know who Stella was back at Magix? That would be weird because why would she do anything that would leave her in a position where she needs to kiss up to Stella?

- Stella woke up at dawn? She’s serious about this thing. And she totally dumped Bloom out of bed. Brandon should watch out in the future. Stella can get you out of bed whether you like it or not.

- Chimera was “finger-painting with food”? Umm... Am I the only one who thinks this sounds weird? And perhaps like Cassandra should’ve paid more attention to her as a child?

- Okay, Valtor is smooth. Of course, he simply wants to make their desires come true. I mean, an obvious lie but at the same time it isn’t because he really did give them power. So... nice move there! Also, I love that Cassandra was smart enough to ask what their end of the deal would be (it’s obvious enough but you never know when some idiot will forget to ask about that) and that she didn’t take Valtor’s hand. It could be read as her being a snob (which is probably at least partially the reason behind it) but it can also be read as her being mindful of him despite their “alliance” and refusing to trust him completely which is a smart move.

- Did Cassandra have magic before Valtor? Her ring seemed to be magical but did she have powers herself? So according to Wiki, “Valtor gave her more potent powers” so I’m assuming that means she had some before that. I was leaning towards that but now I am accepting it as canon.

- Is Valtor’s messing with the second sun what caused the shift in atmosphere and the rain? Damn, very symbolic you guys. It never rains on Solaria but Valtor shows up and boom! It’s raining. Both literally and metaphorically.

- I can’t help but notice how Valtor is only surrounding himself with women. Calm down there with the harem, will you? But on a serious note, I think it does make sense. He most certainly grew up surrounded by women and I would imagine his ego and his quest to be the most powerful wizard kind of get in the way of any male partnership. (Proof a - Griffin, proof b - the Trix. I think you get the idea.)

- Poor Stella. So I get why she’s upset but she’s also being a little selfish here and not taking into account her father’s feelings. I really want to see what happened there, though. If Cassandra didn’t have any good qualities, then why did he decide to marry her? That would make him a complete fool and, let’s be real, he’s not. But it could be that she deceived him. Her facade was holding up well when she was giving Stella the necklace the previous day.

- I can’t with Brandon, though. I see it is time for Sky to be the wingman now, closing Brandon’s jaw and urging him to give Stella the gift. Nice! (Also, poor Flora. Stuck there without Helia XD (But didn’t Tecna say that Helia confirmed he was going in the previous episode? Why isn’t he there?)) Why are Brandon and Sky in their Specialist uniforms, though?

- I really liked the fact that Radius said “My princess and yours.” I think it was cute. And the dance! And his worry for Stella! He is a great father.

- How old is Chimera? Bc she called Stella “big sister”. Damn, long nails, though! And that was some magic!

- Okay, Radius was spelled but what about the guards? “Our princess could never look that hideous”? Oh, so it is just Stella’s looks that matter to you. That’s great to know... Assholes.

- Aaaaand... she fell out the window. (What was that magic Flora sent at Bloom, though? Was it to help her speed so that she can catch Stella?)

3x03:

- The rain is anti magic? Valtor really pulled some shit there.

- “All boys are like that”, really? If you really believe that, then why are you all over Riven, Musa? I get why Stella is worried that Brandon won’t like her like that but Musa’s point is just... no.

- Yeah, let the boys handle it because we’re useless without our powers. Feminism at its finest. And a great message to send to all the little girls watching this show who DON’T have magic. Just fucking splendid!

- Aww, at least the dogs recognized Stella. Dogs are great!

- Stella sneaked out to go to parties? Nice. XD Also, anyone else notice the sparkles? Her outfits were always sparkly. At least the royal ones. Idk why I’m saying this. It just struck me.

- Rocks, then spiders. Amazing! They’re in all the trouble. But Tecna is handling this with some wits and gadgets, and just the tiniest bit of magic that you could literally replace with a knife or something. See? Not useless without magic.

- Aww, Stella saved them from the leeches. (But what was up with that? I don’t think leeches make you unconscious. Unless they were some magical leeches that were draining their magic.)

- Okay, I am not quite sure what is happening with the Trix. They were making digs at Valtor but then they start looking at him like that. It’s obviously just because of the power but still. I’m not a fan. Also, didn’t the Trix learn that they can’t beat Bloom?

- Put an illusion spell on Brandon? Shouldn’t that be a no-no? Like, no spelling the boo?

- Weather spirit? That’s proving to be a real problem.

- Okay, I cannot stress this enough but that last part was sooooo stupid. You have fucking instruments in the ship but why the fuck would you check that and get it back up when you reach the lowest possible point when you can instead go blindly into it and rely on Bloom’s gut? Use the fucking tech gdi! Yeah, now you remember the instruments, after the deed. Instead of doing it while you were performing the maneuver.

3x04:

- Those griffins? Damn! Those things are huge. And those were the little ones. Griffin is named after one hell of a creature. Also, I couldn’t help but notice the parallel there between the mother griffin trying to protect its chicks and Griffin trying to protect her students and getting extremely mad when the Trix attacked them. She totally is a mama bear.

- Poor Stella, feeling useless. Okay, but if Brandon thinks she still looks like she did before, then what does he think the spell did to her? Why does he think she can’t turn into a fairy? Also, didn’t he see what she turned into back at the ball? None of this makes sense.

- And Brandon is ready to jump off the ship for Stella. She definitely doesn’t need the spell because this guy is so in love.

- I’m not a fan of the “girls only” thing. Come on, guys! Brandon is clearly here to stay.

- Look at Brandon being all supportive boyfriend (and understanding, too, since he isn’t mad about getting spelled). And the others’ words... I’m tearing up. Oh, and poor Stella who thought everyone only liked her because she was pretty. (And judging by the Solarian guards’ words, for a good reason too (I’m just about ready to go on a killing spree on her behalf).)

- I love that Brandon only gave her the gift (hey, that’s a mirror, right?) when they thought it hadn’t worked. He was there no matter what happened and I just love that!

- First day of school? Bruh, how short was that vacation? Wtf?

- Omg, Stella and Musa’s teasing. Also, plants that write books? Damn, okay.

- Oh, hey! Musa and Stella have new friends. Poor Nova, though. She was scared to tell Stella what was up on Solaria. And it looks like the situation is very bad. Though, they were just letting Stella be serious and responsible and then they had to bring in the “being jealous of Chimera” thing. Nice one, you guys.

- Griselda is rooting for less school work? That is kinda out of character. And so is Faragonda’s idea about the Enchantix too. (Also, don’t come at me with this bullshit that earning Charmix was the goal of the second year. They didn’t even know what the fuck a Charmix was halfway through the year.) And this is further supported by what she said next that the Enchantix will find them when they’re ready. And what if they aren’t ready yet? What if they’ll be ready two years from now? Also, wtf do you mean that they’ll stay exactly as they are if they fail? Who put an expiration date over when you can earn your Enchantix?

- Stella’s reaction about Chimera, though. I mean, I understand, I wouldn’t want to save her either, but still.

- I’m not trying to be a bitch and it is probably the translation that is stupid but the way Bloom’s thoughts went she was pretty much saying “Why did everyone from Sparx disappear before I could save someone and earn my Enchantix?” Again, this is probably just the translation since the imagery of the destruction of Sparx suggested that she was mourning the tragedy but it did sound wrong.

- So does the Council do anything at all? Because the way Layla is telling it it sounds like they’re there like “Well, too bad for Tides. Also, sucks to be whoever he’ll attack next.” Also, if Valtor was defeated seventeen years ago, why wasn’t there a fucking reaction by someone? Layla’s parents must have already been rulers of Tides at the time so they must have known what was going on politically speaking (especially considering that there’s a portal from Omega to Tides). None of this makes sense... Again. (”Creature named Valtor”? Interesting. This isn’t a mistake since he isn’t quite human so... the writers are dropping some hints.)

3x05:

- Why does Omega have an exit? What, you go and collect the convicts after they’ve served their sentence? No, I really can’t comprehend what’s the point of an exit portal. Isn’t the idea of a prison dimension for the prisoners to be... trapped?

- Hey, don’t dis Stella just because she’s worried about her own planet. (We really didn’t need that flashback but it wasn’t so long so whatever.) At least Layla is being understanding and supportive despite everything she’s going through herself.

Cassandra is really using the magic from Valtor, though, isn’t she? Poor Radius. And all the people who are loyal to him. And Stella for having everything taken away from her, including her father. - This part is in the wrong place but it’s true regardless.

- Just teleporting in the middle of a palace. Damn, those things are so easy to invade. They all have to invest in security. Seriously, some teenagers are breaking in with tech they invented themselves (and yeah, Tecna is the fairy of technology but still). You need a better security system, trust me. If they had it, Valtor wouldn’t have been able to sneak around the Solaria palace. Or the Isis palace, for that matter (but I’m getting ahead of myself.) Also, given the problems they faced on Solaria and those they’ll face on Eraklyon, I’d say it is a lot harder to break out of the palaces than it is to break in, which is still important but if getting in was harder, there would’ve been no reason to work so hard on keeping people from getting out, is all I’m saying.

- I am pretty sure those frames where Icy is twirling her hair were in a previous episode too. Recycling animation, I see. I would cut them some slack on account that that was 2006(?) but no, people were actually drawing good animation in 2006. The first episodes of Tom & Jerry had better quality animation back in the early 1940s for heaven’s sake. They’re just not trying.

- It’s Magic Winx time! I am really trying to make the most of those last moments we’re seeing their initial transformations. I’m thrilled about Enchantix but I’ll also miss their Magic Winx forms.

- “Fairies. They’re always trying to help others. And what’s funnier is that they actually believe it is the right thing to do.” This, right here? Giving me some major feels. I am probably reading too much into it (can’t help wishful thinking now, can I?) but this could very well be about Faragonda helping Griffin escape the Coven and saving her from the Ancestral Witches and Valtor’s wrath. He probably just meant it in general, but I now have a new headcanon (sort of).

- Aww, look at Griselda. So caring, so worried about them. They almost blew their cover there. But why use Kiko when there are five pixies even without Piff? Also, how the hell did Griselda buy that? But aww, at Kiko and Stella, too!

- Can I ask why in hell did they just turn around when they saw the wave and tried to outfly it when they should’ve just risen higher in the air and they would’ve been out of reach, the wave passing underneath them? But no, they can just do that other thing instead and take their chances with the possibility of drowning. Epic levels of stupidity again.

- “That wave was kinda refreshing.” I wonder if you would’ve thought that if someone had died.

- Was releasing the other prisoners Valtor’s plan? I don’t think he was planning on doing that. I mean, as a consequence of his actions, yeah, but I don’t think he was deliberately trying to do that.

- Bloom is getting visions now. Why couldn’t she sense that Valtor was there when he could sense her? I mean, didn’t she feel something through the Dragon Fire even when Layla wasn’t talking about him?

- That shot of Icy and Darcy facing each other while a current is waving their hair is absolutely fucking aesthetic. Can I get it printed?

- Oh, he only gave Icy powers? And I am not sure how to react to that scene. She was talking as if she was looking at a relationship with him. Also, why are they there when they know that this isn’t going to end well? This scene is on some other plane of logic that isn’t even anywhere near the one I’m on.

- Why are they so surprised that the Trix are there? Layla already told them that the possibility of them being with Valtor is big. They should’ve known. But damn, that bolt of magic just went straight through Flora’s chest. How is she not seriously injured?

- Why do the Trix suddenly turn very stupid when it is convenient for Winx? Darcy and Stormy are smarter than that. Maybe it could be considered their pride clouding their judgment but still. It didn’t feel right.

- “Does it look like I’m out of the way?” XDDD

- Why didn’t he just let Bloom drown? Problem solved. But no, he’s gotta have his “moment”, his “villain speech”, his “villain honor”. Bullshit. And in the end when she became too strong for him to defeat, he was doing anything but being honorable. The hypocrisy.

- Okay, but to be fair it wasn’t Icy’s fault that they decided they’d won and Bloom turned her back on the battle.

- Holy shit, he just exploded like that! I still can’t understand how he’s so powerful and keeps getting more power. Really, how did they even defeat him? Oh, that’s right, the writers completely tore him down. Jeez, almost makes sense.

- Oh, no, poor Layla! I think that is one of the cruelest things anyone has ever done in the series. And it is, of course, directed at Layla. (Yes, I am looking at the fact that Ogron stole her chance to save Nabu and saved a flower with that magic instead.) (Damn, they’re all so short compared to Valtor.)

3x06:

- Stella somehow got away with using the pixies again. I don’t know how she keeps doing it but damn. That should qualify as skills.

- It is very sweet of them to hold Layla and help her but I think they should’ve offered a more... extensive hold on her. What I mean here is... Story time. We did some exercises in Cognitive Psychology since our teacher said that there’s a high chance we’ll be working with people with sensory disability. So she separated us into pairs and made one of us close our eyes and trust the other to lead them through a course of obstacles. And I have to tell you that I did not feel secure at all when I was only being held by the hand. Our teacher did something similar with us but it was her who was leading us and she had an arm around my shoulders PLUS holding my hand and it felt much better and safer. So what I’m saying with this is that Layla is most certainly freaking out here and she is very brave for not showing it (probably because she doesn’t want to be a burden) and also making steps on her own in her attempt to reach Tressa. That is absolutely impressive and we should all be proud of her. And she’s also ready to fight. She deserves all the hugs and love, and support in the world.

- I’m pretty sure that spell for breathing underwater undermines the whole Sirenix thing in some way but I don’t really remember what was up with that so I won’t be putting that in the plot holes column just yet.

- Flora is swimming like a little froggie. XD And Musa is swimming like a mermaid. Btw why do all the mermaids have this unnatural angle in their tales as if they have legs and have only put on a mermaid costume over them?

- And Stella finally fucked up. I am really curious what the hell she thought she could do. Go to Solaria and what? Get arrested? Not to mention that she was alone. Stella, honey, use those brain cells. They’re there for a reason. I know you want to help but this isn’t the way.

- Since when do corals grow so fast? Calcium carbonate can’t just multiply like that. Get your facts straight, writers. I guess you could explain this with magic but the way it is animated makes the coral look like it’s seaweeds. It looks soft and fabricy instead of solid as it actually should be.

- Aaand Layla is kidnapped. She’s probably terrified at this point. Poor baby needs a hug and months of therapy.

- I don’t understand why you need bravery to cut through the bars of a cell but okay. Attacking a kraken does, in fact, require bravery, though.

- Let’s cause a cave in, kids! It will be fun. And the chance of dying is just about, oh, I don’t know, BIG!

- Why didn’t Bloom make the stupid shortcut sooner? It would’ve been useful when they were running from the kraken.

- Omg, Imma cry. It’s Enchantix time! Despite everything she’s been through, Layla chose to use the healing magic on the queen. Question though, couldn’t they just... wait until the next sunset to heal her too? Or was it a one-time thing. I think the Bulgarian dub (so RAI) said it was a special sunset that only happened once a year or something like that. Which made more sense tbh.

- That line in the end kills me, though. Layla sounds like she’s lost all hope. Poor baby! You can’t really blame her. But did her parents learn about this? Why didn’t they try to get someone on Tides to heal her? Surely her mom or someone else should’ve known about the fairy powder.

3x07:

- Another realm that will have to get acquainted with clouds. But damn, what a team they make. (Also, all the realms that are designed after Asian cultures are always so... harmonic... At least they were before Valtor.)

- The moment when Layla heals herself with her fairy dust is so powerful! And Griselda was so happy!

- Eraklyon is 1000 years old? I feel like that is little, but at the same time a lot. Idk.

- Icy was so mad. Is that some jealousy I’m detecting here? (Also, Stormy’s face at Darcy’s suggestion that Valtor may be crushing on Bloom, I can’t. She even had sort of a shudder run through her, lol.) But still, brave to yell at him like that considering how much more powerful than her he is. The Trix are the epitome of “I do what I want” and I love it.

- It’s the defense system! Idk why I like it so much but I do.

- Why do I feel like Stella and Griselda have sass matches in every class Griselda teaches? Lol, I want to witness those. They’re bound to be epic. But also, why store so many important and powerful spells in a school full of inexperienced students and risk all their well-being? This just doesn’t make any fucking sense. Again.

- Why do I have a feeling that it isn’t a good idea to let students arrange the tomes in the restricted vault?

- You see, this is why you don’t let them organize those books. Because they accidentally release a monster in the library. And of course they’re gonna send Layla, who is currently their strongest member, on lookout duty instead of having her deal with the monster with her Enchantix. At least they were smart enough to protect the books. Well, at least they learned that books can hurt you. In more than one way.

- Here comes the bullshit with Diaspro. Just let her move on from Sky gdi! Also, I love how she wasn’t really bothered by the fact that Valtor just walked into her room like that. Yeah, she was raging at him to get out but did she even blink at the fact that he managed to get in there at all? No? Why would that surprise her, right? She’s all busy being bitchy so that doesn’t even register.

- Stella and Layla have a tough case on their hands. Poor Tune. She looks like she can’t handle this anymore. But I think Bloom is the one at the biggest disadvantage (though, walking with a single book on your head isn’t actually that hard, come on). But she actually managed to master enough stuff in such a short time. And they’re going to the party. (Not that that will end well but regardless.)

- I love how Bloom didn’t even react to the fact that Faragonda knew her parents and hadn’t told her all this time. I would’ve at least asked why. But again, details just don’t register for these guys.

3x08:

- Why is it that in Bloom’s dreams it is always her friends who are taunting her. Your friends taunting you or abandoning you every time you dream about them is not really normal. (They do draw a lot of dream sequences, though, and I gotta say that they are pretty straightforward, very direct and less symbolic which... fair enough, but dreams aren’t always like that. Also, all the dreams they’ve drawn are logical meaning that everyone is doing things they could realistically do in real life and transitions from places are also smooth and physically possible. Most dreams aren’t like that because the part of the brain that is responsible for logic isn’t active during sleep. Which is why I’ve been in a different town and then walked straight into my room at home without any transition whatsoever. And yes, I get how more simplistic dreams would make sense considering it is a kids show but dreams are of special interest to me so you get this psychological/writer rant-y tangent. This may also be due to the fact that I recently watched a killer dream sequence (not quite dream, it was a hallucination but a “guided” one and it was essentially following dream logic so...) and I am still hung up on that.)

(- A sidenote here: I think that the reason Layla wasn’t in the dream is that her planet is also facing the possibility of destruction currently and that makes Bloom feel like Layla understands her even if she already got her Enchantix. And that was why she was both sleeping on Layla’s lap and not seeing her in the dream.)

- Bloom already met Sky’s parents. I mean, I get how she’d be worried around those two but they already liked her in season 2. So why is that here?

- Stella is so done. You know, I would’ve preferred it if they’d let her focus on the fact that her father is under a spell rather than on her title being given to Chimera. They’re making her more worried about that rather than about her father. (At least Layla is showing off her dress. She didn’t get to do it last time.)

- Oh, god, it’s drama o’clock. Seriously, he was just dancing with you and telling you he loves you. Who changes their mind like that? He’s been with her for over a year now. Why would he just do this out of nowhere without any warning signs? All of this is just so stupid.

- Yes, thank you, Stella. Please do go ask for an explanation. And Layla being angry for her friend too. Good.

- Finally someone realized he’s spelled. Of course he is. Why would he call them witches otherwise?

- Valtor has an interesting way of spying on people. I don’t agree that Diaspro will fit in with the Trix and they shouldn’t have reversed her season 2 character development like that. When will they learn, really?

- Layla’s morphix barrier is so powerful.

- “Even if you are spelled”? What is that if doing there? Of course he is spelled! He’s acting like a rabid dog and I think for two years now you would’ve noticed if that was his personality.

- Poor Flora. They had to get the dragons. But aww, Brandon is so ready to do what only a responsible best friend can and smack some sense into Sky.

- Why did the pilot listen to Cassandra? I know she’s acting like she’s queen but she’s not. You can���t just abandon your king like that no matter who else is giving you orders, what?

- When exactly did the spell on Radius break? When Cassandra abandoned him or when he saw Stella lying unconscious?

- That was so brave of her, just standing against the dragon and not caring about the danger, only about her father. And now she’s got her Enchantix. I always loved Stella’s Enchantix. It’s so pretty. Look at her! (Where’s my Enchantix song, though? Now I am absolutely certain that they’re showing RAI dub in Bulgaria. I want my song back. :/ I love it so much and I want it back!)

- (Okay, picking back up where I left off about half a year ago.)

3x09:

- I liked that they showed Bloom laughing at Kiko’s antics despite her being upset. It makes it more realistic than her just being sad all the time and not showing any other emotion.

- Why is it that what happened on Sparx seems to not be general knowledge? I mean, the whole planet died! There must have been a public statement out of the Council explaining what the hell happened and that the threat has been contained. Why does no one seem to know anything about that?

- I like the fact that there are bigger consequences of what happened on Eraklyon than just relationship drama. Makes this a lot more interesting.

- Look, I am not a fan of Bloom at all but I wouldn’t have wanted her removed from the school. I mean, Alfea is Valtor’s target with or without her anyway to give a logical argument at the very least. And she also deserves to be protected if Valtor is after her and not kicked out to deal with it as best as she can. It’s not fair to want her out of there just because there is someone out there to get her. They should be concerned with protecting her along with all the other students instead of trying to feed her to the wolves. Not to mention that if they want Bloom out, they should also want Faragonda out of there since she is a target of Valtor’s as well. But no one dares say that, right? I am just so over this!

- Why are we doing the voice over again?

- Vanessa and Mike are the most precious parents ever and I love them so much! (Pls, don’t ruin this with the live action series.) And also, when will Bloom stop acting like Sky has any control of his behavior? I am glad that Vanessa brought up that time Darkar brainwashed Bloom. A good way to slap her in the face with the truth delicately.

- Aww, Brandon is being such a great friend! And Stella is doing her best to be a supportive BFF as well.

- I agree with Riven on changing the operation’s name. And he was being a bit of a jerk there. Especially considering that he has been in Sky’s shoes as a brainwashed puppy for Darcy. Though, that might actually be what is driving his words. Maybe he doesn’t want to admit that he was outsmarted and spelled by Darcy and that is why he is maintaining that Sky might be choosing all of that of his own volition. (Though, that might be a bit too deep for the writers.) And he did agree to drive them, after all, so he must be saying the truth about not wanting Bloom to get disappointed.

- Why did they have to reverse every last bit of Diaspro’s character development?!

- “Is this a ‘no parking’ zone?” XDDDD

- Brandon truly is the best bf and BFF and I cannot stress this enough. I love him!

- Well, took you awfully long to put two and two together. But at least this drama is about to close. Thankfully, since I don’t think I could have taken much more of this.

- Of course, they get caught. Did that punishment ever happen? I mean, considering what is coming in the next episode, I don’t think we ever saw any consequences for that.

- I get why the news of an arranged marriage can be distressing but I think that Layla was a bit too quick with that “my life will be ruined” evaluation. She could’ve tried meeting Nabu at least before deciding it wasn’t going to work out. Especially considering that it was working out (until they fucking killed him off).

3x10

- (I will probably be talking a lot more about Griffin and Valtor than is necessary. What can I say? When your OTP only gets about five scenes together, you have to make the most of it.)

- Aww, poor Stella, feeling so worried for Brandon! But seriously, why didn’t they think of checking the intergalactic news or whatever? Shouldn’t that be... idk, their first move? Even I thought of that and I don’t even live in that universe. Come on, guys! Use those brain cells!

- Valtor is such a primadonna, I can’t even. Yeah, how dare this place he has completely taken over and pushed to the verge of destruction be so lame and not entertaining? Lol at the line about the spell protecting Cloud Tower from dark magic, though. It will never not be funny.

- Sidenote: Is Griffin the only person in the universe who’s named Griffin? I know that the fact that it’s Cloud Tower would make him think it was her but it could still be another witch named Griffin. You’d think that in the whole universe there would be another witch sharing that name.

- Okay, but that scene made the witches look kinda incompetent. I know they are just students still but they must know that shapeshifting is possible and in that case you shouldn’t invite animals inside either because they could turn out to be the menacing wizard that’s threatening the entire magical dimension. Just saying.

- God, I really hate it when they do things like that. Can we have magic users actually sensing magic and not being caught completely by surprise when someone teleports in their room? Especially if they are the headmistress of the most prestigious school for witches? I mean, she is supposed to be powerful. She should have sensed him or something. I am not saying that that should have given her more of a fighting chance but she should have at least felt his magic. Considering that they used to be partners.

- How do Ediltrude and Zarathustra know Valtor? I’m just curious for more backstory.

- This show has a dreadful way of including flashbacks. I mean, Griffin should know damn well what the hell Valtor’s talking about but they couldn’t find a better way to segue the flashback into the episode so we get that super cringy line instead. I would’ve also really appreciated it if those flashbacks were less stylized. Although - and now I am going on a Griffin x Valtor rant despite having said this before - the way it is animated it looks like they did convergence. And Valtor saying that they were unstoppable when they combined their powers supports that. And all of that, in turn, supports the idea that they were together. Especially since Griffin changed her mind about the whole thing which would mean that their interests in a magical plan weren’t all that aligned and you need sync for a convergence. (And who would prefer the idea of them being just work partners when you can have the moral dilemma of love vs conscience instead?) Anyway, yeah, really not a fan of that part with the snakes because it doesn’t tell you shit about what actually happened and I highly doubt that the Ancestral Witches conjured serpents to chase her. It could have been a good way to show once again how horrible they were but they just wanted to cop out of actually putting any effort into any of this.

- Now that I am done with that rant, I just want to say again how in love I am with young Griffin’s design and especially her hair. It is so long and purple and I just can’t! Also, headcanon that that flower hairpin was a gift from Faragonda. Also also, Darcy could be a spitting image of young Griffin. Just an observation.

- Of course, the magical barrier also protects from rain.

- Oh, boy, here comes another rant. “Why are they attacking us?” Seriously?!?!?! And that coming from Winx who were on Tides and have had two of their closest people brainwashed by Valtor? I mean, are you really that fucking stupid?!?!?!?!?! How hard can it be to put two and two together?!?!?! Honestly, I am so done with all of this!

- Well, that barrier didn’t hold up even for a minute. I know Valtor had all the witches brainwashed but how powerful can they be? Isn’t that barrier supposed to protect them from big threats? It gave way as if it were a house of cards.

- I love the way Faragonda just blasted Valtor through all of those trees although I wish they would have done more with that battle. They could have shown some more advanced spells instead of Valtor and Faragonda just blasting each other. Yeah, he turned her into a tree but we never actually saw how any of that happened. That could have been an epic battle if they had decided to show more of it.

- Yeah, this makes perfect sense. The barrier that all the teachers made together with an ancient spell didn’t hold up but the one Palladium put up with SOME of the fairies is stronger. How does that have any logic? The teachers are supposed to be a lot more powerful and therefore create a stronger barrier. I am so done with all of this nonsense.

- Poor Galatea. Though, I must agree with Icy that she is obviously new since she thought she could defeat the Trix by herself. But her idea to send a message to Musa was good! The one to run instead of fly out of there - less so.

- Yeah, Tecna just stopped a convergence between Icy and Stormy on her own. How does that make any sense?! Winx are way too powerful for the Trix to defeat them even without their Enchantix and none of this helps the tension of the season. I mean, can we have some proportional powers in order to actually have any stakes? They were so much better at that in season 1.

- Darcy, I love you, baby, but how could you set a library on fire? I am in pain. And also amazed by the stupidity once again. Why would a fire on fire attack put out the fucking fire, Bloom?! How does that make any sense?! Oh, and Galatea’s decision to rush back for the books was absolutely fucking idiotic. I get that she wasn’t rational at the moment and probably felt guilty for the whole thing but come on! This is a whole room of books! How did she think she could save them all?!

- Musa’s Enchantix is beautiful but I am not sure it was worth all the bullshit they did just to let her have it. Not to mention that there was absolutely no damage from the fire at all. And, of course, fairy dust can just generate new wings. Yes, that makes perfect sense, why are you asking? (Okay, I am actually going to give that a pass because fairy dust and fairy wings are both magic (and the dust comes from the Enchantix wings).)

3x11:

- I am actually kinda amused by the choice to start off the episode with that shot of the grounds of Alfea smoking after the battle.

- “Lucy, why did you attack us?” REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! How much more stupid manufactured drama are they gonna shove in this?!?!?!... Oh, wait. That is so that we can have Mirta go to Cloud Tower bc that’s a plot device. Nvm it doesn’t make any fucking sense for any of the fairies not to know why the attack happened, especially since Faragonda is missing so they must all know about her battle with Valtor and that he’s behind everything. And then she even asks if Valtor made the witches do it? Well, of course he did, you absolute moron! I cannot with this anymore.

- Lol, Valtor just feeding the Trix’s fight and giving them stupid assignments to keep them off his back is kinda hilarious but it would have been better if they weren’t so ready to fall for it. Come on, they can do better and everyone knows it!

- Yeah, “an unbelievable battle” (Valtor vs Faragonda)... that we saw nothing of. Thanks, writers!

- I swear, the only reason Locket is less annoying than Bloom is that she’s actually smaller in size (and the writers don’t hyperfocus on her).

- Flora’s powers are really cool but why was there so much wind during that spell? It looked a bit too violent for Flora with the way all the trees were bending so intensely. And the trees were scared? Aww, that’s... a lot of things, actually. But anyway.

- If Mirta was going in Cloud Tower, why was she walking away from it? The positioning in this scene makes no sense.

- They literally just wasted almost an entire minute on the pixies that were doing nothing of importance. They could have used that time for something actually meaningful and interesting.

- Okay, I always thought that the green (bluish) and purple monsters were Ediltrude and Zarathustra but I don’t think I have seen anyone else catch on to that. I mean, it would make sense because Valtor’s mark turned the mermaids on Tides into monsters as well. But on the other hand, the witches of Cloud Tower were also marked and didn’t turn into monsters. Though, I bet that was just so we could have the drama of “why are they attacking us?” when the fairies recognized them because they might not have if the witches had been turned into monsters.

- Well, the Trix stood up to Valtor about that guard duty at least. That’s more like them.

- “she claims to be a fairy born into a witch’s body”? I never understood that. Mirta has a fairy form. So if she has a fairy form but is born in a witch’s body... What’s the difference between a fairy’s body and a witch’s one if not the fairy form? Which she obviously has?!?!?!

- Yeah, a door just opens by itself and Lucy is right behind it and Mirta falls for that. I mean, doesn’t the level of convenience tip you off that it’s a trap? Basic logic, people! Is that too much to ask for?

- Here they had to start doing the convergence before Valtor’s spell ruined it and Bloom touched Stella with no problem but later it turns out that Valtor just blocked their ability to touch. Yeah, right. I am not buying that. It wasn’t animated in support of it, sorry.

- Oh, wow. They even managed to hit Valtor with an attack! I’m amazed. However, they’re not anywhere even close to being on his level of power so, again, how did they ever beat him?

- Oh, I noticed the pentagram now! I never saw it before.

- Well, of course, Griffin is trying to escape. What did you think? That she’ll sit idly by? He knows her and he already knew she would try to escape as evidenced earlier. Why is he surprised?

- Okay, so “blocked our ability to touch each other” is actually “blocked our ability to hold hands” which is different. Just saying. And also, since when do they need to touch to do convergence? They were doing convergence without touching just fine in season 2. I maintain that this whole thing with the convergence is a load of crap because they had no idea how to put them in danger otherwise.

- What are these mummy hands and where are they coming from. And of course, Mirta shows up in a last second save. You know, I can see now how she fell for that trap earlier. Everything in this series is too convenient.

- If Valtor could do the reflective spell on Griffin’s cell door, why didn’t he just go for it the first time to eliminate the headaches she caused him with her escape attempts? Oh, my god, does anyone in this show have any brains?!

- They could have tried the fairy dust to save Griffin in this ep instead of waiting for 3x14. But again, no fucking brain cells, man.

- When will they learn that if a thing attacks them right now, there’s a big chance it was spelled by Valtor? I am really so over this. And “the old one”? Really? She’s not that old.

- Yeah, Mirta isn’t an Alfea student. Why would she care to go look for Faragonda along with Winx? We can just send her home, right? No problem.

- Hey, that’s Nabu.

(- Okay, enough about this episode. I gave it enough time and nerves.)

3x12:

- Lucy was spying on the pixies? I have never noticed that. And she turned herself into a snake? Okay, that was really cool. How have I never noticed it?

- I am so over Valtor and the Trix’s bullshit. They are all so transparent, it’s ridiculous.

- Well, that’s one of the few times we’ve seen Stella’s ring lately. She used it a lot more back in season 1 and I have started missing it.

- Yeah, Flora’s sister is not Rose. She’s Miele. Sorry, 4kids.

- Why did Flora ask her obviously-too-little-for-any-of-this sister to talk to the elders instead of her parents?!

- How did Stormy create harpies out of lightning? Was this some sort of Frankenstein thing, except she didn’t even have a body to run electricity through and just materialized the entire damn harpies out of her magic? WTF?!

- Lol, Stormy’s harpies first went for Musa? Yeah, it’s obvious they’re Stormy’s. XD (Why does that harpy look like Lucy?)

- No one can fly through the winds. 3 secs later - Stella, Layla and Musa are flying through the winds. *facepalm* They aren’t the only fairies in the whole magical dimension to have Enchantix, you know? Surely, there are also fairies with Enchantix on Lynphea, which means that there are people who can fly through the winds. Why does this show insist on contradicting itself so often?! (The talk about the Enchantix wings was cool, though.)

- Stormy really needs some anger management.

- My first thought when I saw the sage of Lynphea was “Lady Gaga” XDDD (Also, Alfea, Lynphea... chill, guys.)

- The story of the Black Willow has always been my favorite part of the lore for the Winx world! I loved it ever since I first started watching the show and it’s still holding up!

- Why is Darcy so behind on what Icy and Stormy are doing?

- Aww, Flora is so careful with her sister! And she knows her so well! She totally knew that Miele would want the ladybug to go faster. She’s a great big sis!

- Omg, a cat fight between Icy and Darcy? It’s hilariously bad but I gotta say, they probably weren’t trying to hurt each other truly since they mostly refrained from using magic. And I love the fact that they realized they are fighting over a guy and it’s stupid. Plus, Stormy really isn’t so bad at all and only needs some anger management. Out of the three of them, she always seems to value the presence of the others the most. Just... not in a “friends friends” way. XD

- Bloom was really going to just touch the water and totally forget what they were told and also turn herself back into a kid. Nice one!

- Ouch, poor Stella. She ran face first into that column. But I gotta say that I love how both Bloom’s face and intonation switch to “fuck you” even though she’s frozen to the wall.

- Hey, that thing about Griffin’s Nature Studies class kinda aligns with my headcanon that she loves plants. If you know how to make an environment thrive, you’ll also know how to ruin it. And of course, Darcy aced that. She just loves to ruin stuff and I love her. Also, loving the Trix much more now that they’re back to being a totally evil team!

- Holy shit! Flora just attacked Darcy physically! I am speechless! I did not see this coming. This episode is truly delivering on the action! It is much better than the previous one and the threat is more real. I like it!

- Oh, damn! Flora is really mad to dish out plants that are trying to swallow them! Oof, this is getting really intense and I am loving every second!

- Why are they talking underwater?

- Omg, poor Miele. She thought her big sis would die. Honestly, the Trix deserved to have their butts kicked here just for doing that to her. A sidenote, though - Why do the Enchantix transformations start up with makeup change? That is hardly a priority, seriously!

- Miele should have gotten her Enchantix, too, for taking that blow for Flora. Which btw is stupid because if the blast was supposed to “finish off” Flora, Miele should have been hurt badly but she was just fine.

- Well, of course saving Faragonda is up to Winx, THE STUDENTS! Why would any of the teachers actually try to save their boss?! That would be ludicrous.

3x13:

- Oh, so Saladin is three years older than Faragonda (and Griffin)? Also, “a social call”? Plus, the way Faragonda was talking about his past visits? Yeah, that was not a friendship when they were young. (But I just burst out laughing at Faragonda’s expression when she said she had to wake up Layla. She looked so terrified and it was just a tad over the top for her specifically.)

- Stella was dreaming Brandon had wings and they were flying together? Aww, that is so romantic!

- Aww, Layla and her dad are going to fight together! That is so precious! I love that some of the adults are finally taking action here. It was about damn time!

- The Trix look positively upset by Valtor’s idea to just let the mermaids die. It may be because in a way they are also his minions and if he has no problem leaving his minions to die, then they aren’t too safe either. Though, it seems like they want the people to live but they don’t care that the planet will die. It’s a little weird.

- Stella went to rodeo camp? Man, they really do have cowboys on Solaria, huh?

- Rescue vine? But aww, the way Flora caught Stella was really cute!

- Lol, I guess the Trix aren’t satisfied with the home cinema special “Watching your mortal enemies get obliterated” and wanted in on the action! Well, in a manner of speaking, Valtor saved them by keeping them from going to Tides (although it didn’t get destroyed but they thought it would so it kinda counts). Guess, they’re still useful to him.

- Omg, Layla and her dad teaming up is absolutely great! We needed to see more moments like that and it was totally possible considering that a half of their fathers (counting Oritel) are warriors. And I love that Teredor thought of freeing the mermaids from Valtor’s spell. I thought Winx would have thought of that by now but apparently they still can’t get used to the fact that they have fairy dust now and it can remove Valtor’s mark.

- I still don’t get the need for a portal to Omega. There is obviously another way in because the Trix weren’t dropped in through the portal on Tides. So why leave a portal? This is stupid. Also, I knew the scrolls would get sucked in. It was just too stupid for them to pass up on.

- Okay, it was sweet that Bloom and Layla were ready to sacrifice themselves but why was Tecna able to go near the portal when they weren’t? Also, why did she get her Enchantix? Faragonda said they had to sacrifice themselves for someone from their own planets. Tecna isn’t from Tides!

- Musa seemed the most upset, though. Not that the others weren’t. But Musa was the one that flew in in an attempt to help Tecna and then just banged on the ground like that. Poor babies. All of them. (At least the Trix are happy... for now.)

Part 2 is here.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

❌ So yesterday night Alastor invited over a guest to cook dinner for.

❌ I could tell the second she arrived because I could hear frigging "Be Our Guest" start up in the lobby.

❌ I tried to avoid that whole scene, but from down a hall I definitely spotted a shadow-thing juggling dishes.

❌ He rewrote the lyrics. I didn't catch all of them, but I did hear "Can they sing? Who can tell! After all, doll, this is Hell!"

❌ If you're on the fence about checking into the hotel and you're a musical theater fan: if you come, there's basically a 100% chance that the Radio Demon will do a musical number for you.

((So @autokrates came over for dinner last night, and we decided not to roleplay it out, but we DID write a long semi-pseudo-roleplay summary of how that meeting would have gone, so for any parties who are interested, HERE'S THAT CHAT LOG))

Valera

So! Largely, I believe. Val showing up, a musical number happens, and then ingredient delivery

Alastor

Sounds right.

Then Alastor preps dinner, spends too much time fussing with this Newfangled Modern Machine With Settings And Dials, and they sit staring at a slow cooker for a while.

Valera

Ah yes, nothing like sitting in dead silence waiting for things with someone you don't know! She should have asked Pentious for-- OH YEAH. Slide a pamphlet over. He can busy himself with memorizing that for a little while

Alastor

He absolutely will. And he will politely play showtunes in the background for the benefit of his guest as he reads.

Valera

Ah, just the thing for her to occupy herself with. Quietly stimming by wiggling her fingers and tail to the music

Alastor

He'd probably say thanks for the info but uh why give it to him? (Not that he doesn't WANT it but like, it seems pretty private, he's surprised that Valera—and Sir Pent?—think he's worthy of being let in on where Sir Pentious is this week)

Alastor three days after falling asleep on the floor all tangled up with Sir Pent: haha yeah but it's not like we're CLOSE is it?

Valera

Dumb old men being dumb!!!

Alastor

HE JUST. ASSUMES HE'S WAY MORE INTO THIS THAN SIR PENT...

Valera

Pentious asked her to elaborate to Alastor what was happening, since she's still got a level head and experience with shedding. Which is convenient, because she'd fully intended to anyway. Pentious may want company, and Alastor needs to be prepared.

Alastor

OuO oh so he trusts Alastor that much huh. He will... file that fact away... somewhere in his heart

Valera

Aside from herself, he's the person Pentious trusts most. Casually sips materialized tea.

Alastor

Immediately tries to play it off like HAHA MUST BE A SHORT LIST. ... Which would probably be funnier if not for the fact that, like, it IS a short list.

Valera

She will... Refrain from commenting on the list being Two People long. But she will raise a very deliberate eyebrow at the way he avoids any signs of emotional attachment

Which actually reminds her! She owes him an apology.

Maybe multiple? Whatever.

Alastor

(He might be verbally avoiding signs of emotional attachment but outside of that, like, it's gonna be hard for her not to notice that his attention on the conversation goes from like 75% to 110% the moment Sir Pent comes into it and he drops everything to focus on the Info Pamphlet That Might Be Helpful For Sir Pent)

Genuinely :)? at that, apology for what

Valera

Well, a few things! Pentious shared Alastor's letters with her, which, yes he was asking for input, but it was a bit invasive.

Alastor

Goes from :)? to :]

Valera

And then for, what was it, outing him? The post was taken down, but if Pentious had mixed feelings about it, well. She can't assume how Alastor felt even if she did say it was an Opinion Piece.

Shrug!!

Alastor

Oh THAT? Sure Alastor thinks he saw that go by now that Val mentions it. It's exactly what she said: an opinion piece!!! Why, he's an infamous celebrity! Everyone has an opinion on him and most of them are wrong! He doesn't put much stock in them~

Valera

Regardless! Her bluntness charms some, but it can also be quite inappropriate. She hopes it didn't distress him too much, it was never her intention.

She is a POLITICIAN.

Alastor

Why, he hardly even noticed it.

Valera

Good! Looping back around to her beau, did Alastor have any other questions?

Alastor

... Anything he can send to help out?

(NOW he's all self-conscious, offering to do something NICE. gotta try to be all aloof about it)

Valera

(Wow he really IS like Pentious but Even Worse.. She is amazed.) Send? Oh, no dear fellow. Asking for food today was largely a cover to visit without having Vaggie relay all this information thirdhand. Though he did do quite a fine job of making the food, Pentious will love it.

(assuming, but the Smell)

Alastor

✨💖 Oh will he? That's good. 💖✨

Valera

Yes. Alastor cut the vegetables and meat into the perfect sizes to avoid a texture issue, couldn't have done it better herself. Prr prr

Alastor

(He's like Texture Issue???? but like. He's not gonna ask.)

Valera

She will GLOSS PAST THAT, THEN. Beyond the food, which was a lovely bonus, hmm... No, she's already providing the lotions and voice recordings for Pentious. Unless he's willing to be an in house cheer squad when the snake gets bored and blind, there isn't much he could do.

Alastor

Well, he'd be glad to come over for a visit if it'd lift his spirits—if Sir Pentious would want the visit?

Valera

She expects he will! He's.. Distressed.

Uncomfortable shift. SHE DOESN'T LIKE BEING SO VAGUE.

Alastor

Well now she's got 150% of Alastor's attention.

Valera

Twitchy Tail Time!!! Yes. Well, the pamphlet makes it very dry, but a shed is nothing short of agony. Itchy, painful, it leaves you blind and helpless. If you've already got... experiences with such things. It makes it worse. Pentious is barely into it and he's already ready to attack anything that moves.

Alastor

... Well! Let Alastor know when he can come by.

(He's got trouble wrapping his head around the idea of WANTING company while pained and helpless, but if Valera says he does, then Alastor is going by that)

(... and if Sir Pent gets pissed Alastor came over he's 100% pointing a finger at Val and going "well she said you'd like it")

Valera

(LMAO)

(Val would explain it as wanting a strong person present so you can feel protected and finally relax)

(She's appealed to Pentious' ego with that!!)

Hah! Yes, of course. Though he may need to go to Valera's home, fair warning. She's trying to coax Pentious into laying in her tub to get through this. She's got more equipment to deal with the symptoms, and a larger bathroom by far.

Alastor

Having a near stranger over sounds like something that should worry Valera more than Alastor! For him, it's a bonus.

Valera

OH MAKE NO MISTAKE. VAL'S NOT SURE ABOUT IT

BUT. she's confident Alastor isn't going to do anything dumb in her house

bc Pentious would FLIP SHIT

Alastor

She's already decided that Alastor won't behave himself out of basic decency as a guest or even out of a desire to maybe get invited back but he WILL behave himself solely because Sir Pent is there and he's feeling kind of called out. Called out in his own kitchen, in front of his own crock pot,

Valera

Raises an eyebrow

She's grinning but she shouldn't be when she's acting like a little shit

Alastor

BUT WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAYS IS of course he'll be on his best behavior :) :) :)

WHY IT'S NOT EVERY DAY HE MEETS SOMEONE WITH SUCH FINE TASTE IN THE PERFORMING ARTS, he'd be a fool to be a poor guest

Valera

Glad to hear it! He's been nothing but a perfect gentleman so far, but with the way Pentious rants about other demons, an abundance of caution seems wise. Nothing personal, dear fellow.

Demon culture is very much a mystery to her, and a confusing one at that.

Alastor

COMPLETELY reasonable. After all, everyone is down here for a reason.

Valera

She would agree, if the concept of sin wasn't such an odd one! It comes down to survival of the fittest, at the end. But just because some pompous sky man says he loves you if you follow his contradictory rules, humans are doomed to eternal torment? It's bizarre.

Ah, but excuse her. Her viewpoint is, literally, alien.

Alastor

You make the world, you make the rules. What is the guy powerful enough to give the orders and see that they're obeyed if not "the fittest"? Who has the power to argue if he prints a list of criteria for who he does and doesn't want joining him in his gated community in the sky?

He's told someone tried to argue with him once. And that's how THIS little neighborhood got started.

Valera

Oh, it's not so bad. Heaven is a pretty dull place! All sorts of goody two shoes drinking tea and baking pies in the perfect idyllic weather. Forever.

Alastor

You know, for a time, Alastor used to think that all the "punishment" narratives around Hell were just talk. He had this theory that, actually, humans were sent to the afterlife they were better suited for. The people sent to Heaven are the kind of people who'd LIKE being in Heaven, the people sent to Hell are the kind of people who would be bored stiff in Heaven and just make it miserable for the people who want to be there.

But he was wrong. It really, truly is rotten down here. Not just because of the wilted vegetables and awful weather. Hell grinds at you on a spiritual level. It really is a punishment.

Valera

Well that's.. A lot at once. Vaguely concerned frown.. That she is going to cover with her tea turning to a Nice Dark Coffee. SSSssssssSSSIP.

Alastor

Just thought she might benefit from an insider perspective! She can rest assured: the pie-baking tea-drinkers really are better off.

:) :) :)

Valera

Interesting! She's never spent much time in Hell out of arms reach of Pentious, but that's something to keep in mind for the future.

Alastor

Happy to help~!

Valera

[[ val voice: haha yeah whenever I'm in hell I'm getting doted on but I'll keep an eye out for emotional wear and tear!

Alastor

(It's different for visitors who only come to chat with the convicts)

Valera

(Of course. More for Pentious than herself, she doesn't know a lot of his backstory yet BUT SHE KNOWS ITS SAD)

Now, moving to happier topics! She loves what hes done with the hair. Though it makes him rather fresh faced

Alastor

WHY, THANK YOU!! It was all the rage a hundred years ago! But they do say fashion trends come back around!!

Sir Pentious wasn't as impressed by it, but, hey, can't win them all, can you?

Valera

Ah, don't worry about it. He just takes a bit to come around to change!

... Usually.

Alastor

Well, doesn't matter, he probably won't be keeping it long.

"Usually"?

Valera

She grins!!! Yes, usually. He's remarkably easy to get on board with just about anything if you can relate to something else he likes.

Alastor

Well, naturally! Who isn't?

Valera

The LOOK on her face is like she SUCKED A LEMON.

You'd be surprised.

Alastor

... Apparently so!

he's gone from :) to 8) like what did he just step in

Valera

NOTHING SHE'S GETTING INTO! Now, tell her dear man. What kind of musicals do you like?

Alastor

............... All of them???

Valera

Oh? Everything from Les Mis to Cats?

Anything Goes?

Alastor

Are those the two extremes? Then apparently so! What about you?!

Valera

She has preferences when she's PERFORMING in them, but from an enjoyment perspective, she can appreciate any production.

Alastor

A fan after his own dead heart!

Valera

She can do a MEAN patter song, but she likes being able to dance around while she's belting lines out. Acrobatics are where she can really show off!

Alastor

Well, then he hopes he'll have a chance to see her dancing sooner rather than later! Alastor never received much in the way in formal training in dance, and he's sure it shows, but he likes to think he makes up for it with personality.

Valera

Oh pish posh. Dance is at least fifty percent attitude, he'd be phenomenal on or off the stage. And she can always give pointers, if he's looking for them.

Alastor

He really only does it for his own entertainment—AND for the entertainment of honored guests, of course—but if he ever decides to get back into theater for whatever reason, he'll keep her generous offer in mind.

Valera

Of course! Not like she's going to do a lot of dancing with Pentious here. Her love is many things, but a dancer is not one of them. Snrk snrk.

Alastor

Really. Huh.

So how DID they meet, anyway?? Alastor's been wondering! Hard for sinners to meet many people outside of Hell.

Valera

Oh! Haha, funny story, that. But how much detail does he REALLY want?

Alastor

Well, far be it from him to pry into anything she doesn't think she ought to share, of course. But he wouldn't have asked if he didn't wonder.

Valera

Fair! Alright, well. They met on tumblr, obviously. Pentious was flailing about being combative and intentionally aggressive. You know. Pentious.

Alastor

Naturally.

Valera

She decided to approach him without the immediate hostility so many of her peers were demonstrating. Doesn't everyone deserve a chance to explain themselves, after all? He seemed like he was lashing out, not truly malicious. Nobody had bothered explaining to him that what he did was wrong, or why.

And, you know. If you attack someone, you can't be surprised if they attack you right back. Obviously.

Alastor

Obviously.

Valera

So! Yes. She approached him, asked questions. Asked for his side of things. And they got along just fine! So she invited him over for tea, arguably. But mostly he invited himself over because she made too much tea.

Alastor

So just a chance encounter while adrift among the Internet's airwaves! How serendipitous.

Valera

More or less! Though really, she'd spoken to Alastor more at that point. Other Alastor. He'd been inviting her over to his hell, so she'd likely have met Pentious under very different circumstances if she hadn't approached him then.

But! He came over, and they talked. And they talked a LOT. About their passions, and about how ridiculous people can be these days.

And gods, can they. Then they decided to watch The Mikado! Has he heard of it?

Alastor

Has he heard of it?! One of Gilbert & Sullivan's most renown shows?! Madam! Of course he had!

Valera

Oh good, good good! He continues to impress! So lovely to know there are other people with taste around here. So yes! They watched The Mikado, and it went.. Almost alarmingly well. At the start they were on opposite ends of the couch, and by the end he was sprawled across her lap like he lived there.

Alastor

...... Well!

He warms up to people fast.

Valera

Haha! Perhaps he was simply overly pleased to connect with someone again, and let his guard down? They wound up making out on the couch like a pair of horny teens, so.

Alastor

...... Well!

Valera

Sssssips drink.

Alastor

............ Congratulations! (he has No Idea what you're supposed to say to that)

Valera

Thanks! (She doesn't either) Want to know an incredibly adorable fact about Penny?

Alastor

Sure!!

(he is retaining a Remarkable poker face through all this)

Valera

He likes it when you scratch his hood. Makes him melt in to a happy little pile of scales.

(someone please... Help Alastor....)

Alastor

Ha! Well, isn't that darling.

(The only one who can help Alastor is Alastor himself and he's like "why should I help, what's that bitch ever done for me")

Valera

Very. Should he ever deign to let you try it, the results are best from juuust the very joint of his neck and hood.

(ALASTOR PRACTICE SELF CARE)

Alastor

(FOR THE LAST HALF CENTURY HIS SELF CARE HAS BEEN AVOIDING SEEING/THINKING ABOUT SIR PENT EVER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. He still needs to figure out how to do a self-care that's the opposite of that!)

Duly noted! Alastor's sure it'll never happen, but even so.

Valera

Oh, she isn't so sure! Penny speaks fondly of him.

Alastor

... Hm.

Well, there are different sorts of fondness, aren't there!

Valera

Well, yes of course? She's fond of many people, but she isn't exactly engaged to the vast majority of them. What is his point?

Alastor

That THAT'S the sort of intimacy one usually reserves for someone closer to the "engaged" end of the fondness scale—hold on, engaged??

Valera

Oh? Yes, engaged. Anyway, is it? This must be one of those human things again. There's nothing sexual about enjoying platonic physical contact, there's no reason for it to be relegated to a relationship.

Alastor

Well, what does Alastor know, he's never been a very touchy person. SO, how long have you two been...? Well, probably since before Alastor met either of you, silly question! He just must not have heard.

Valera

Oh, no it's.. Arguably recent? Certainly after he and Pentious started talking. Though don't get too fussed, dear. Pentious has a ring he hasn't lobbed at her yet. They've just agreed to get married, Pentious refers to her as his fiancé. No dates set or anything.

Alastor

Oh, good, so he didn't miss some big announcement. That WOULD have been embarrassing

Valera

He did not! And really, with how he and Pentious get along he might wind up getting asked for advice if a proposal ever actually occurs.

Alastor

... He doesn't know what kind of advice he could offer! He's not known for his expertise in romance, ha.

((suddenly got a flashing glimpse of a possible future where Alastor is the best man, standing like five feet away from Sir Pent trying to hold it together))

Valera

[[ JFDHFKDSHJFKDS HONESTLY.... IT'S LIKELY

Valera

You know, she doesn't think any of them are! Marriage isn't something Veci usually do with aliens, but Pentious insisted he wanted a proper marriage, and kids, and she's not opposed to either if that makes him happy. Though seeing him with the dolls is incredibly endearing.

Alastor

((And I will be FILLED TO THE BRIM with sadistic glee))

The dolls??

Valera

[[ Alastor crying ASMR

Alastor

(("Al are you okay—" "YEAH I'M FINE IT'S JUST. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. ISN'T IT. SO MOVING."))

Valera

Yes! Would you like to hear that story?

Alastor

SURE!!

Valera

Super! So! She doesn't know ALASTOR'S stance on calling women things like sluts and whores, but she herself is.. Not terribly fond of those words. Something about having them screamed at her, just doesn't sit well.

Alastor

One rarely is fond of the words one's been on the receiving end of.

Valera

Indeed. Pentious on the other hand, used them quite freely against any woman he wasn't pleased with.

But! Pentious wants kids someday, and kids are of course, quite perceptive little creatures. And no child of hers is going to grow up internalizing that kind of nonsense, either as a measure of their worth or as something a proper young man calls any lady.

So! She made a few dolls, to demonstrate her point. Pentious wants kids, so she made him some dolls that resemble what his offspring would.

And then hurled abuse at them quite freely!

He didn't take kindly to hearing what random men would call his own daughter, funnily enough.

Alastor

Alastor's like lmao. (IT SEEMS KINDA MEAN AND MEAN THINGS AMUSE HIM... he's half powered by schadenfreude)

Valera

(It WAS mean)

Alastor

And he takes it that worked.

Valera

Pentious can often be found curled up with his little doll family, and he hasn't used a slur since, so! Yes.

Alastor

No surprise there! He is, at his heart, a family man in hibernation, isn't he?

Valera

Not even in hibernation! He's incredibly eager to start a family.

Alastor

Of course. Now that he has the chance. Probably the only man in Hell who does.

Formerly in hibernation, then.

Valera

Can sinners not reproduce?

Alastor

No! Sterile, one and all. The dead do not breed. There are the few rare exceptions who have been supernaturally promoted out of the pool of the damned and made nobility of the same rank as the native Infernal-born or Heaven-fallen demons—Queen Lilith, for instance—but that's not just a thing that HAPPENS. A sinner must be CHOSEN, typically by Lucifer himself. Alastor wouldn't be surprised if it happens less than twice a millennium.

And even at that, to his knowledge these ascendant damned have never bred with each other—only with the Infernal nobility.

Valera

Huh! Fascinating. She really should learn more about the going ons of hell... But good to know! That explains the way Pentious.. Basically went feral as soon as he found out it was possible to have a family.

She's still not sure about the whole "eyes going red" thing, but he's explained it as any peak of emotion.

Alastor

It happens!

... Did you account for the possibility of him being sterile when you promised him a family? Or did you make the promise on the assumption that he's as fertile as any living man?

Valera

Oh, she can reproduce with anyone who has a soul. Pentious IS a damned soul. Ergo...

Alastor

Getting around the usual rules, then! Good. Alastor would so hate to hear if he'd gotten his hopes raised just for them to be dashed again.

Valera

Oh, she was careful to check! Many demons are soulless beings, and she hates to be made a liar of. Though she wasn't even sure poor Pentious even had genitals at the time!

Alastor

Well. Surprise.

Valera

She is Looking Away

Yes... Surprise indeed.

Alastor

He is the picture of :) neutrality

Valera

Val is trying very hard to keep the conversation from going to DARK PLACES. So!!! Subject change time.

Did you and he have fun at your last visit? He tends to give her a summary, but it's nice to hear the other perspective

Alastor

OH. YES. SURE. DELIGHTFUL TIME.

Valera

Oh? Delightful?

Alastor

Yeah, sure! ... Why, did he not think so?

Valera

Oh! He.. Got very drunk. His memories get fuzzy.

Alastor

... Well, that was half of what made it delightful!

Valera

She wouldn't know, but she's very glad to hear it!

Alastor

You abstain? Or not biologically capable?

Valera

Oh, neither. Rarely have the chance to actually relax anymore, too many attempts to murder her over the years. Regicide is very in, you know.

Alastor

Heavy is the head!

Valera

Hah! He can say that again. It's a thankless job. But somebody's got to do it.

Alastor

((I'M RUNNIN OUT OF STEAM... and they chatted about a lot more than I expected, this was productive!! Anywhere else you think we oughta steer the conversation or d'you think it's safe to go And Then They Chatted More, The End))

Valera

[[ NAH I THINK ITS BEEN ESTABLISHED WELL ENOUGH. STEER BACK TO MUSICALS, THEY TALK SHOP, AND THEN WHAM FOOD

[absollnk]

Absol's Journey's End progression, act 1: prehardmode

(this post contains sarcasm not marked with /s because a., I'm not targeting any real people and b., It's for emphasis. I will also be explaining things that may not need to be explained to seasoned players in order to make this a little more accessible. Tw for sparse cursing)

wow

I'd like to call myself good at Terraria. I've played across several platforms since patch 1.1 and know way too much about this spectacular sandbox's intricate details. I can blaze through most bosses effortlessly if I'm prepared. I've done playthroughs of every class in expert mode (except summoner, couldn't find a slime staff even after farming :/).

It's so strange to be bitch slapped all the way back to square one just because I've never touched a keyboard before.

I don't remember what my initial key layout was, but currently, the important ones are-

WASD for movement

C for inventory

R for mounts

F for quick heal

B for quick buff

Space for jump

LeftAlt for smart cursor toggle

M for map

Left click for action and right click for interaction, and

Mouse 3 (scroll wheel *press* for grappling hook.

You should've seen my hour-one gameplay. It was sad. I couldn't change directions while jumping. I was regretting choosing expert mode difficulty. If I wasn't using journey mode's research system as a crutch, I'd probably still be pre-skeletron. I didn't even have enough skill to use the step stool accessory, which literally just requires holding up.

But, in the long run, I got better way faster than I could've anticipated. First, however, on irl day 2, I killed the Eye of Cthulhu on my fifth try after being torn apart by its last-resort Wacko Mode 4 times. At that point I was decked out in full gold gear with the fast and piercing jester arrows, so I really felt that the keyboard was holding me back considering that I usually do the eye armorless (admittedly I only had 100 life, but I usually do that too.)

The next day, slime rained. I thought that the king would be free gear, so I warped back to the surface to bring him out. He wasn't. He spawned on top of me, dealing 50+ damage immediately, wiping out half my total HP. I instinctively tried to use the shield dash to get the hell out of there, but I hit the inside of his body, which made me bounce back, which made me get hit again, resulting in death. The fight lasted less than 10 seconds, and I could only see the fucker for two of them.

With my spicy new tendon bow from the eye, I thought in my tilted rage that it would be a good idea to go and beat up the Brain of Cthulhu. I was itching for beefier armor and it was the gateway between me and crimson/molten gear. I set up an arena above the crimson made of two long rows of platforms covered in health regen-boosting campfires. With a stack of its spawn item (thanks journey mode), I brought in the first one to size up what I was dealing with.

I died pretty well. In fact, this is where I died the best out of the whole run so far.

The first attempt went surprisingly well. My lovely and incredibly sexy jester arrows made dealing with the creeper hoardes *relatively* easy. Phase two did not apply to that. I had brought along a burning mace because it had the dual functionality of circling the player or being shot out and coming back again like a baseball on an elastic string. This would theoretically allow me to attack the brain if it was far away and defend myself if it was too close to me. I did not know that the mace had very little knockback while it was spinning. This plan did not work.

ELEVEN atempts of trial and error later, I won. By that point, the creepers alone had dropped enough materials to make the crimson armor without ever actually killing the boss, which is pathetic. But I won, and I didn't cheat. I'm still in the easy baby phase of the game. At this point I'm starting to realize why most players statistically chop down a tree and ditch the game forever.

It's irl day 3. Next up on my blood feud against the children's video game was skeletron, the next step in progression that makes the final boss of prehardmode a little bit easier and the thing preventing me from seeing my hair. I set up and even longer 3-layer arena and prepared to not have fun, as skeletron is known in my head for being a dumb bitch who cheats with fast, homing projectiles and an un-telegraphed chain attack that will instantly kill you if you can't grapple out.

He took two tries. I don't get it. I was probably getting better at the controls by then, but *that much* better? Like, the successful attempt wasn't even that close. Whatever. I was annoyed that the stupid brain gave me so much trouble, and I seemingly couldn't be happy after a boss fight even if it went well. But, since we take those, I proceeded into the dungeon to find a bunch of disposable weapons and, more importantly, the cobalt shield. I didn't have to take knockback anymore. If I rematched the king slime then he was fucking dead.

The clothier moved in and I bought the familiar wig to reveal my luscious locks.

Queen bee is next. The fights were standard, but I learned that she apparently enrages on the surface? I always fight her there, except for this time when I stayed underground for funsies. She was so much easier underground. Good to know, I guess. I could've probably done her before even the Brain.

Because I'd never been able to before and because I happened to find the tavernkeep after the bee fight, I tried out the old one's army which logically and appropriately kicked my ass. It was a reality check for sure (things were going smoothly since after the brain minus movement) but it was also a neat experience.

I mowed through the gobins, finally maxed my hp, and then it became Wall Time. My loadout was now molten armor with the Molten Fury bow and the Sunfury flail (which for some reason has like ninety base dmg??? This is a PREhardmode weapon? It has NO business doing 90+ but hey I'll take it). I was also rocking the blizzard in a balloon, band of regen, fledgeling wings, lightning boots, and shield of Cthulhu. I felt like I was finally strong enough in-game and competent enough with the controls to advance to hardmode. I was finally good enough at the video game to change directions while jumping.

I built a roughly 1,900-block long bridge in hell out of the blast-proof dungeon bricks. My plan was to run far ahead of the wall and just kill it with dynamite. I grinded for a voodoo doll and yeeted it into the lava, murdering Andrew the guide with questionable morals and bringing forth the wall of flesh. Little did absol know that they forgot to pack the main part of their plan, dynamite. I realized this, contemplated in-game self murder to end the hopeless fight early, but then I had an epiphany. What if I didn't cheese the boss and fought it legitimately?

With my epic gamer status and pride on the line and expecting nothing more than failure, I whipped out my good ole 100-gotdamn-damage Sunfury and tore through the Wall's hungry appendages.

This is all cool and good on paper. I'm doing consistent damage and I'm not dying. That's how you kill bosses. Things are going well, life is good.

I check the map and learn that I've already used up two thirds of my hellbridge and that the wall was only just below half health. Oh no. Things are actually not going well and life is bad.

I switch to the bow, hoping that the speed and accuracy result in better DPS. Better it was, and I would be all set if it weren't for the Wall's gimmick. I was indeed doing more damage, but as it loses health, it gets faster. I'm at a point where I have to be running at full speed almost constantly to stay a safe distance away. The Wall's health still isn't in the dark red zone and I'm almost out of road. I'm starting to take steady damage from the exponentially faster eye lasers and leeches. I run out of bridge and have to hop from lava lake to building to lava lake in order to not burn alive in the infernal orange juice. New areas are being revealed on the map because I'm fighting in an area I've literally not been in yet. I'm too busy focusing on not being deep-fried that my aim suffers tremendously. I fumble while switching back to the flail for quality over quantity, costing me precious seconds. The wall now moves faster than my top speed. I mis-time a jump and right before the wall disintegrates me between itself and a building, it dies.

I audibly moan in real life.

I go and check the treasure bag after a few seconds of mental recalibration. I got a laser rifle and a ranger emblem, along with the standard demon heart which I immediately wolf down to slap on the emblem. I guess I'm a ranger now.

Recap:

King Slime: still alive

Eye of Cthulhu: five attempts

Brain of Cthulhu: twelve attempts

Skeletron: two attempts

Queen Bee: two attempts

Wall of Flesh: one attempt

The spirits of light and dark have been released and my gamer status is intact. Absol's next victim-victim relationship is with the Queen Slime, but that'll have to wait until the hardmode post :)

Thank you if you've read this far!! Lemme know what you think about this kind of thing, it was fun

[mandysxmuses]

all symbols for coda uwu

Son, have you been sending all the symbols at once recently?

☾ - sleep headcanon

Despite how much he has seen over the course of years, Coda has always been a heavy sleeper when he gets to sleep. A train could go past his house and he could sleep like a baby anyway. Part of him believes this is due to Jinx, since she communicates with him through dreams sometimes, but according to her it’s literally just because that’s how he sleeps.

She’s also made a few “jokes” about never letting him wake up, though, so he debates over it in his head -- but it really is just him.

★ - sad headcanon

A sad headcanon did you mean his whole life

While mirrors have become a prominent fear in his life, Coda has also developed a fear of stairs, open sidewalks, and tall buildings as a result of his experiences on the other side. While our world looks a lot different from its hellish counterpart, he can’t detach a lot of it from what he’s seen, and one of the only times he’ll ever ask anyone for help is when he has to go up or down stairs.

☆ - happy headcanon

Coda rarely smiles genuinely anymore, but one of the best ways to do it is to drop a rabbit in his lap. He has some very fond memories of his only childhood pet, Choco, a brown rabbit -- and they’re something that still bring him nothing but joy.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

While he’s much more a flight-over-fight kind of person, Coda has definitely become a lot more angry over the years. He’s prone to insulting his attackers, screaming in rage when overwhelmed, and finds himself tense and agitated by even the simplest of conversations held with everyday people.

He tried buying a punching bag to assuage some of his pent-up anger through violence rather than screaming, but promptly threw it out of his house after the mirrored version of it turned into a malformed meaty monstrosity that tried to eat him alive.

✿ - Sex headcanon

Coda has a really high libido. It really annoys him to have as high of a drive as he does given that he’s not interested in seeing anyone and he doesn’t really consider himself to have time to take care of that, but. It’s a thing.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

He owns a one-bedroom, one-bathroom home, with all mirrors either removed or covered if he could not find a way to detach them from the wall safely. No stairs, it’s only one floor. The oven and stove do not work, and because he’s mainly surviving through “mystery money” delivered by Jinx and is unemployed, he doesn’t want to ask someone to repair it. So he eats either whatever’s in the fridge, canned things, or squints uses the microwave.

♡ - romantic headcanon

If Coda’s interested in someone, chances are he’s going to be highly embarrassed to be around them and his fear will definitely show over his frustrations. For one thing, he doesn’t exactly take care of himself and knows approaching them will only be awkward for them both. And for the other, even if by some miracle they DID hit it off, he’s scared their life would be ruined by his curse because he has accidentally taken other people to hell with him before and it has led to their deaths.

well that’s not very romantic but it’s related to romance right

♥ - family headcanon

As far as Coda knows, his only family members are gone and he doesn’t have high hopes of carrying on the family tree. His parents were the closest people he had to him and even then, they were unusually distant, their giving him Choco being one of the only kind things they did without having to. His mother and father never answer when he calls and he’s given up on contacting either of them again, though he doubts they’d answer him about the “deal” anyway.

He’s 100% certain they knew about the curse he was born into, though, and that’s why they behaved the way they did.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Jinx is the closest person Coda has to a friend right now -- which is depressing, because she’s literally declared she’s just as much an enemy of his as everyone else in hell. But being the only one who provides him with answers, even if some of them are flat-out lies, he’s spoken to her often.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

He loves video games. ... Not necessarily horror ones, but collect-a-thons in particular are very fun, and he usually uses games like that to give himself something to focus on besides literally everything else.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

He loves the sunlight. Despite one’s conceptions of heat in hell, it’s never bright there, so seeing the light of day is very comforting to him despite his phobia of leaving the house.

▼ - childhood headcanon

One of his favorite video games growing up was Super Mario 64, which contributed to his love of games about collecting later on.

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Despite his stubble not apparent in his too-weak-for-facial-hair-faceclaim, and all the stress he’s been through, Coda appears to be a little younger than he is. He’s 27, but is often confused to be much younger both due to his mannerisms and physical appearance.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

this is the most he can do in the kitchen honestly what IS cooking

☼ - appearance headcanon

Coda often wears thick, heavy coats and pants. They’re not exactly convenient when he’s in the mirror world but the heavy feeling offers him comfort when he’s not (and he has weighted blankets for the same reason).

ൠ - random headcanon

He has a form of sixth sense and can detect demons nearby. He believes it’s because of the curse, since said sense acts up immediately whenever he’s near a mirror.

◉ - Any other question of your choosing (Does Jinx uwu?)

Jinx is the living embodiment of how threatening uwu is.

[afinepricklypear]

Compare and Contrast: K Project vs. Bungou Stray Dogs - Part 2

Read Part 1

Story

In general, K Project does a lot better job of maintaining a consistent and focused story, especially in Seasons 1 and 2 than BSD, with almost no filler content.  There aren’t nearly as many open plot threads or divergences from the main story, and everyone introduced has a very cohesive purpose to the plot. This may largely be due to the fact that K was originally envisioned as a complete story, with the movie Return of Kings and season 2’s Missing Kings and other added materials being, somewhat, after thoughts consequently ordered due to the popularity of the show. Season 2 does offer a very decisive end to the tale, with the destruction of the Dresden Slate, mysterious source of all supernatural power. On the other hand, BSD is an ongoing serialized manga with no set beginning or ending that we, as the audience, are aware.  BSD’s author, Asagiri Kafka, isn’t telling a self-contained story with a determined beginning, middle, and end, so often times characters and plot devices are introduced which may not have bearing on the current arc of the story, they hint at things to come. This might be frustrating for viewers that aren’t interested in long-term serialized works, which does have the tendency to fall victim to filler episodes in attempt to make a certain quota or make up for any lulls in the story.

That being said, BSD, thus far, does a lot better with world.

In K, the concepts of Clans and Kings, the Dresden Slate, and the Swords of Damocles are never fully fleshed out satisfactorily, to the point that aspects of it feel completely illogical, convoluted, and conveniently there merely to move the plot forward. Fantasy stories are generally under no obligation to provide explanations for where magic abilities come from, K makes an attempt with the Dresden Slate, but overreaches with an established protocol of Kings and Clans in regards to these powers with no explanation for where or why these rules manifested or why anyone feels obligated to follow them. For example, the Red King Mikoto is not shown to care too much for being a King, or even wanting obligations to his Clan, yet he maintains it and his Clansmen show loyalty to it, and there’s no explanation beyond “well that’s just the way the Dresden Slate works”.  That would be fine, if this wasn’t established as the expectation of anyone who is “awoken” as a King. In that same vein, a lot isn’t really clarified in terms of what really happens to Clansmen when their King dies (Clansmen are shown to still maintain powers granted from their former King but that’s just speculation from viewers, and doesn’t make sense if there powers stem from their Kings) and what is meant to happen when a new King takes their place (though we do see Clansmen turn on the new Blue King, in regards to Munakata taking over Jin Hibari’s role, or choosing to continue following the new Red King, as we see in HOMRA with Anne taking Mikoto’s place). Worse, these rules are just universally known in a world that isn’t supposed to know about these Clans and Kings, leaving no one to explain these rules to newly awakened Kings although these rules are shown to be universally known and accepted by them. More questions than answers are raised.

In BSD, people being born with or manifesting abilities is shown to just be a facet of this world. It’s just one of the physical laws, much like how the sky is blue, grass is green, some people can conjure demons that kill you. This is just the world they live in, and in that sense, the people in this world are the ones that determine the rules that govern these abilities without expectation. This treats us to various different ideas and philosophies for how ability users should apply their abilities or how the users themselves should be managed. The government attempts to regulate ability users, through licensure for organizations that wish to operate as ability user specific. This provided a cool storyline where we see Port Mafia obtain its license to operate as an ability user organization during the Dark Era, through nefarious plotting on leader, Mori’s part, which also highlighted that the Port Mafia is a criminal organization because prior to obtaining this license they were operating without one. We also see the Armed Detective Agency undergo a plot to take their license away, and since they are the morally upright group, in their minds, losing their license means they will cease to exist. This places explanation firmly on the goals of their given society, something that is relatable and understandable for readers, and shifts it away from the realm of unexplainable and increasingly convoluted magic.

On the flipside of that, however, K does a much better job of balancing powers. Which brings me Nakahara Chuuya.

I’ll throw this disclaimer in here, Chuuya is my favorite character. I fell in love at first sight. Unfortunately, he gets little to no screen time, I could count on one hand his number of appearances throughout the first two seasons. He gets three episodes at the start of Season 3 that explores his history with Dazai, and I feel I’m in no way biased (**cough, cough** 100% biased) saying these are the best three episodes of the season. Then we see him maybe in two more episodes until he gets trapped in a book for the rest of the season, leaving me screaming furiously at the screen. Manga chapters that go beyond where the anime left off are not filling me with much hope for more Chuuya in Season 4. Seriously, I don’t recommend loving this character, you’ll only get your heart broken.

The problem with Chuuya that becomes rampant throughout BSD in other characters, is that he’s a side character for a rival organization and he is super OP. Since the creator seems adamantly against making him a more main character (either as antagonist or protagonist…hell, majority of his appearances have been to literally save the day for the heroes), not to mention the lack of anyone in our heroes’ corner that could reasonably take him on (even Dazai is outmatched despite his nullifying ability, because Chuuya also happens to be Port Mafia’s best martial artist) the only recourse is to leave him conveniently absent from majority of the story. Which, okay, this can mostly be explained away that he’s an Executive in Port Mafia and probably has a lot to deal with in terms of making sure their operations continue to move smoothly, but it leads to ludicrous scenarios such as the end of the Guild Arc when a whale sized airship is being dropped on Yokohama by the Guild. We’re told this ship will wipe out a large portion of the city. At this point, the Detective Agency and Port Mafia are on semi-good terms in order to stand against their common enemy, the Guild. You would think, large object being dropped on the city, Port Mafia has a powerful gravity manipulator on staff...one phone call to Dr. Mori, “Hey...do you mind sending Chuuya to take care of that whale bomb....or are you just cool with the city being flattened?” All Chuuya needs to do is parachute down, once he touches the ship, he could tear the whole thing apart and fling its pieces to every side of the ocean. They call it a day in thirty seconds, tops, back home for dinner. Yet, for some odd reason, the course of action that the Armed Detective Agency decides on is to send rookie agent tiger boy to infiltrate the ship and fight his way to a possible transponder they can use to reverse the ship’s course, despite having little experience, and no specialized abilities for the task, let’s not get started on the ridiculousness of that transponder anyways. This decision is based largely on the fact he once was held prisoner on the ship and so…should know his way around? I get that they supposedly don’t want to owe Port Mafia, but this kind of seemed like an odd time to play loose and fast with the city’s safety. The point is, Chuuya is powerful, which makes his lack of presence during crucial moments pretty heavy handed.

That being said, however, this OP situation, is a problem throughout with other characters as well. There’s no balance of powers, and characters are shown to do things that don’t fall within the realm of their abilities, may never have previously been display or given proper explanation prior to introduction, and sometimes comes across as just thrown in last minute as a plot device. A few examples, able to transform into a tiger also, somehow allows Atsushi to heal at a rapid level and regrow limbs. Forget about the implications that he’s got some “special” light attached to his ability, as well. In a recent chapter of the manga, we see a newly introduced character, one of the Hunting Dogs, slap a bullet out of the air and stop a large projectile with her bare hands. Her ability, however, is age manipulation so there’s no given reason why she should’ve been able to do those things. While it is mentioned that the Hunting Dogs are also genetically engineered, she did this to save another Hunting Dog who is duly is surprised by her actions and expresses that he could not have done the same. I’m baffled. This is to say nothing of the multiple time characters without regenerative or durable abilities are stabbed, blown up, and impaled, only to walk it off like it’s nothing. The Agency healer, Yosano, has an ability called Thou Shalt Not Die, she can heal someone but only when they’re on the brink of death, so her ability is essentially that trope in action films where the bomb is always disarmed with one second to spare. Let’s not even talk about the new revelation that Dazai can control his heart beats to the point he can use it for passing secret code. It becomes plot armor so thick that it entirely erases the stakes for our characters. They’re all treated as practically immortal, able to overcome anything thrown at them, I’m not even worried anymore when a character takes a lance through the heart, I know he’s walking it off in the next scene.

K is a lot more balanced with its abilities. None of the characters, outside of the Kings, feel so overpowered that they are impossible to stop and they’re not shown to be capable of things outside of their given abilities or established, and might I say reasonable, skillsets.  Even the Kings have their peers in the other Kings. Sure, Clansmen can dodge bullets, but if they’re hit by one it hurts and, notably in the case of Totsuka, it can kill. No one is getting impaled multiple times then walking it off. Mikoto is run through with a blade once, and as it should be, he dies. Not only does this maintain the stakes for our characters – they are at the end of the day mortal, and they can get hurt, they can be beaten, they can die – it also gives us a more complicated, and darker story with characters that we can relate to on an emotional level.

Read Part 3

[slo-liveblog]

Witch’s Heart Final Thoughts

Hellooo! It’s been a bit! I figured I’d go ahead and post that big ol’ thoughts and rambles post before I went ahead and started the Bonus Stage. I’ll probably be doing some similarly styled things in the future... anyways, I hope you’ve all been doing well, and don’t mind the long post! 

CHARACTERS

Claire: Oh my god. I would give my life for Claire in a heartbeat. I was honestly expecting to not care for her much, not that RPG maker games don’t have plenty of female protagonists I like but they’re almost exclusively children. On the adult side of things, not so much. I was expecting a mostly silent audience insert at best and an annoying, shallowly written protagonist at worst. Thankfully I was 100% wrong and ended up absolutely loving her and rooting for her all the way. I probably said at some point but she reminds me of Hiyoko Tohsaka, the protagonist from Hatoful Boyfriend... yes, the bird dating simulator, don’t even get me started. Maybe a little bit like Emma from The Promised Neverland, too. Pure of heart, dumb of ass female characters that could beat the shit out of anyone AND are incredibly compassionate and enjoyable to watch are just too damn rare. The ways in which she interacted with the other mains felt completely organic and I was never skeptical as to why she was spending time with them, which is something I tend to take issue with in games with a scenario/route structure. On the flip side, the reactions the mains had to her were completely understandable- as far as they were meant to be, anyway- and I found myself at least somewhat identifying with their thoughts on her. Like Leon, I too am in love with Claire. 

Ashe: Oh Ashe. Fuck Ashe. In terms of livening up any situation he’s in, for better or for worse, he’s an absolutely perfect abomination of nature. Every time he enters a scene I either laugh or am filled with pure, unfiltered rage, which I guess is a good sign. He’s definitely an excellent wild card that makes the experience better no matter what way you look at it. However.... in hindsight I think he might actually be the character we understand the least at this point, despite being the first person you meet and the first to get a scenario (if you play it in the order I did, anyway). Even Wiwardo, who’s silent 90% of the damn time, does have a pretty clear motivation. It seems likely that Ashe’s wish is to bring back his family, but not only do we not know anything about them or how they died, we also don’t have any context as to how Ashe became the sort of person he did. So it’s hard to really have a full grasp on him... I appreciate his character for what it is, but I’m not quite as enthusiastic about him as I am some of the others... yet.

Reynaldo: Reynaldo makes me want to start throwing things, in a good thing. I didn’t liveblog the beginning of the game, but I distinctly remember telling my friends he was my favorite initially- the bizarre name, the gun sprite that inexplicably makes me laugh, seems like just a sexi guy. I adore the reveal of what the curse/his wish was, and I think despite not knowing much about the particulars yet it says enough about why he is the way he is that it works perfectly even without the missing information. He’s a fascinating character and has a TON of the best moments in the game, for me personally anyway. My one major complaint would just be like... c’mon, I know he’s the stoic type but I would’ve liked just a liiiiittle bit more reaction from him in some of the bigger scenes, such as when Claire confronted Invective. Also I hate him and I’m gonna beat him up

Sirius: Baby boy. Baby. I want to hold his hand. He’s the character that I think is the easiest to understand at this point in the game, as his cards are almost all on the table. We’ve seen snippets of his childhood, gotten him to reveal pretty much all his thoughts and relevant knowledge to Claire, we’ve literally seen him go to hell, all the good stuff. Male tsunderes, at least ones that are still generally nice people like Sirius, are sooort of my weakness. There’s not a lot to say about him that I haven’t already said but he deserves the world.

Leon: BABY BOY. BABY. Okay, granted, I don’t... really care about Leon that much. Don’t get me wrong, I love him and nothing bad should ever happen to him ever again. But since he didn’t really get to be present in the other’s scenarios, I don’t feel as connected to him as I do the others. BUT with that said, now that the ball has finally dropped and his whole deal isn’t a secret anymore, at least not entirely, I’m hopeful that him not being around enough’ll be rectified by the bonus stage and final endings. He’s never done anything wrong in his entire life.

Charlotte: Charlotte’s in a weird place for me where I’m intrigued but not quite into her yet. I feel like we’ve only really scratched the surface, so I’m interested to see where she goes from here. She got so many interesting scenes like the one with Noel, Fiona, and Lime in her backstory that REALLY hit the mark for me. 

Zizel: Not a lot to say about Zizel, just that her interactions with Claire were absolutely adorable no matter how morbid the context. Love her.

Lime: Lime.... oh boy. I have some. Emotions. About Lime. She definitely seemed like the most one-note out of the demons when she first appeared, just sort of a cutesy masochist anime girl, but wow. I love her relationship with Charlotte and her fascination with Leon is really interesting. I kind of hope going forward that she develops more of a relationship with Claire? I dunno, feels like there’s just some untapped potential there, with Claire being as empathetic as she is and Lime being... as confused about emotions as she is.

Rouge: Again, not a ton to say about her, but her relationship with Leon ended up being way more interesting and heart-wrenching than I expected despite how little we saw of it. I appreciate that she really does care. 

Overall & Final Score The characters were fucking fantastic. My only complaint is that I haven’t seen enough of them yet. 9/10

STORY

Ashe’s Route: My least favorite route, I think, though that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it. It does have the advantage of being completely new (if you played it first like I did) and Claire and Ashe’s relationship was so fucking cute and entertaining to watch. It does really feel like an introductory route though- it was mostly setup, which isn’t bad. Just not as gripping as the other routes. And the ending is... a little anticlimactic, considering you can see Ashe’s murderous tendencies coming a mile away. But there’s nothing in particular I think I would change, solid but not incredible.

Wiwardo’s Route: My second favorite route, which... I have a feeling will be an unpopular opinion. I dunno, I just really enjoyed it from start to finish. The partner swapping was hilarious and did a lot to flesh out the dynamics between the characters, Invective was really fun and fleshed out Claire’s personality as well as a lot of demon lore, and I think Reynaldo’s conclusion might be my favorite in the whole game. I was really questioning where any of it was going towards the end, it definitely had me on the edge of my seat. The main complaint I have about it though is that we... don’t actually see that much of Reynaldo. Like, at all. I mean, he’s THERE, but as I mentioned prior he doesn’t... react to much. Of course he doesn’t need to be overly emotional, that’s just not in his nature, but a few more moments where he actually had any sort of stake in what was going on might’ve been nice. The majority of the scenes he’s in prior to the boss battle hardly get any dialogue out of him at all. But like I said, the ending really made it worth it. Fighting Ashe was probably THE most cathartic boss battle in the game and the realization about what Reynaldo was going to do moments before it happened gave me chills. 

Sirius’s Route: My favorite! Love my boy!! God Sirius’s route was incredible. Definitely the one that was the most consistently gripping. Exploring hell was such a cool way to make the route continue after Claire’s death and Sirius’s character development was top notch. It really felt like we were finally getting some answers, too, which was satisfying. I will say, despite being my favorite, it probably has the weakest actual conclusion. Like, the confrontation with the monster made me Feel Things, but since we don’t actually know who or what it is there’s not really as much weight as the other routes that end with Claire’s death. Still, the juicy plot revelations and character development more than made up for it.

Leon’s Route: It may not be one of my favorites but this shit fucked me up. Definitely elicited the most tears, the whole goddamn thing’s miserable. Leon’s route feels slightly lacking in the charm department for me, which probably sounds weird but... I guess it’s cause the whole thing is so laser focused on Claire. Like, obviously Leon is primarily concerned with her, so it feels like there’s less emotional or interesting moments with everyone else and the ones that ARE there aren’t as impactful as they could be since, y’know, he’s really only here for her. But that’s mostly just a personal preference and since that was the whole point I can’t really complain. Leon’s relationship with Claire was wonderfully executed and I really appreciate this poor boy. 

Torch Backstories: Like. They didn’t HAVE to add all this stuff in but they sure did and wow does it pack a punch. I was always super excited to see the next one after finishing a scenario. I do wish we had a little more variety instead of half of them being Lime though, as much as I adore her character.

Overall & Final Score My only real issue with the story is, again, I haven’t seen enough of it yet, and that it sliiightly dragged in some places. Plus there were some small elements I took issue with, like the use of the ??? character, but nothing major. 9/10 

GAMEPLAY

Fighting: No major complaints with the fighting mechanics, it was actually a really nice change of pace since most RPG maker games I’ve played don’t have battles. I do wish Leon had something a little different to set him apart from Claire, since he essentially has the exact same fighting style, albeit with a knife this time. 

Demon Requests: This was a mixed bag. I liked the concept, especially how it wraps in a little bit of lore and everything. But some of the requests, like the ones that involved fishing, were just tedious. I probably would’ve preferred if demon requests were either just a liiiiittle less frequent or had more lore sprinkled in to keep me interested. 

Scenario Mechanics & New Items: The whole idea of the scenarios is... good, but not flawless. I think giving the option of doing Reynaldo’s scenario first probably wouldn’t work very well and giving the illusion of choice only for it to just be which of the two you play first is a little redundant. But that aside, I really love the way they’re strung together with the hell room and all the things you can do there. Setting up a routine in this kind of game was a really good idea. I also looooved the new items you get each scenario, the lighter doesn’t do much but the wand and broom really feel like they broaden your horizons. 

Gift Giving & Minigames: Not super into the affection system to be honest. Like, the plushies are super cute, but the gifts and minigames feel pointless and tedious. I would’ve liked if there was some sort of scene, or even multiple, per character that you get when you max their affection, you know? Obviously this is a small complaint considering the absurd amount of content in the game but I was a little disappointed by how underwhelming the gift giving was. 

Other Puzzles I didn’t take issue with any particular puzzle, they were all reasonably easy and fun to do. I really enjoyed the majority of them and if I didn’t they were either over quickly or optional, such as Ashe’s damn slider puzzle.

Overall, Final Score The gameplay isn’t anything crazy, but it does what it’s meant to do. 6/10

ART & SOUND

Character Design: I don’t have a ton to say about the designs, I think they’re all really effective and well thought out, especially for the demons. No two characters look too similar despite the simplistic art style making it very easy for that to happen, and I thoroughly enjoy everyone’s outfits. 

Sprites and BGs: There are a few wonky sprites here and there but for an RPG maker game I was pleasantly surprised by their overall quality. And ability to make me feel things. And quantity! Like damn, there’s so many sprites for each character, I never feel like I’m seeing too much of the same one. 

OST and Sound Effects: I know none of the songs were composed for the game itself, which is common in these sorts of games, but the selection was excellent regardless. I still listen to the soundtrack a lot just for fun. The sound effects are really cute too, no complaints there either. 

Overall, Final Score It’s crude at times, but the art and music is perfect for what it wants to be and elicits a hell of a lot of emotion. 7/10

I adore this game and I can’t WAIT to start Bonus Stage!